Note: This is a just a fun little flash piece to get you in the mood for October. Happy Halloween, everyone!
Dr. Everett J. Edmunds raised his zombies from nothing but spare parts and voodoo. He believed his living dead should crave the best, most exceptional brains. Therefore, in procuring their daily meals, he kidnapped only lawyers and doctors, novelists and scientists, Nobel lauriates, Olympians and the like. Late nights he’d strap these unfortunates to the chair in his subterranean laboratory and read them poetry whilst playing an old Bach vinyl.
“Why, Dr. Browning, you look pale,” he might say. “Perhaps some electrolytes before my darlings feast? Malaise in the system is no good at dinner time.”
And of course, upon devouring each subject, his zombies gained further appreciation for human exceptionalism, thereby endowing themselves with heightened intelligence, communication faculties, charm and wit. This was the theory, at least. Everett had found hard clinical proof difficult to come by.
One evening, as the sun set on his small, weed-infested home, his door buzzer rang, interrupting an attempt to teach his horde Calculus. Everett swore and hushed the zombies, climbing the steps into the house proper. All his life he’d been an achiever, which was why his bookcases and mantle were lined with trophies, awards, and certificates of excellence. The medical community valued his intellect, but people wouldn’t understand his true calling. Perhaps his walk-in freezer was full of arms and hearts and torsos, but he was no cold-blooded killer; rather Edmund was a brilliant scientist, the most exceptional brain of his generation.
He opened the door with a prolonged, rusty squeek. There stood the love of his life, the one who got away, a half-zombie named Camilla. If regret had a voice, it’d be soft and sweet as hers.
She cooed a loving, “Braaaaains!”
To which Everett replied, “My darling, you’ve come back to me!”
“Brains!”
“Of course, my love. Come inside. Your horde misses you, as do I.”
She followed dutifully, through the house and back down into the laboratory. The rest of the horde would eat him as soon as look at him, but not his Camilla. She’d been so beautiful in life, his favorite nurse at the hospital. The car crash that claimed her life hadn’t been entirely accidental.
From the book of voodoo spells he’d purchased on Amazon, he’d selected a special hex he used just once: the half-zombie, or Death’s First Kiss. Though her skin had rotted and her jawbone flopped like the useless handle of a can opener, Camilla was still the most beautiful woman Dr. Edmunds had ever seen. He embraced her. She smelled wonderful … ish.
“Dearest, why don’t you climb back in the cage where you belong? Your brothers and sisters would love the chance to pick your–”
“Braaaaains!”
“What do you mean they won’t like you anymore? Have you really changed so much?”
Camilla indicated she had, and then proceeded to describe her adventures in the world of the living. Apparently, she’d tried to go back to school, and had even attended her nephew’s bar mitzvah, a ghastly affair which had seen her own family chase her into the night. The doctor opened the cage door cautiously, sensing a lull in his zombies’ aggression.
“Dear heart, please step inside,” he said. “When you ran away, I lost a piece of myself.”
“Brains!” she said, which translated loosely as, I’m wearing a wire, Everett.
“What do you mean you’re wearing a wire?” he asked.
“Brrrrrains!”—What do you mean, what do I mean? The police have already arrived, and you are going to jail for what you’ve done. It took me years to realize it, but you’re the monster, not me. Now don’t struggle.
The door to the laboratory burst open. Waves of gun-toting police filed in, barking for him to hit the floor and put his hands behind his back. Dr. Edmunds refused. Though he always suspected this day might come, he somehow thought he’d be the one to betray himself, not his dear Camilla.
Everett ran into the cage, slammed the door, pressed in tightly with his zombies, and bellowed, “Take me now, my beauties!”
But his zombies ignored him. In fact, they paid him no more attention than Camilla paid basic rules of variative syntax. This, of course, was the real tragedy. For if they didn’t want to eat his delicious, fertile, exceptional brain … well maybe he wasn’t so exceptional after all. The police urged Camilla to yank him from the cage. She did so and they placed him in handcuffs.
“That’s the way the cookie crumbles, doc,” said one of the officers, brutish man with coffee stains on his uniform.
“How dare you!” Everett spat. “If they ever ate an imbecile like you, I’d burn my diplomas!”
The cops led him from his home. After reading his miranda rights on the street, they gathered around their police cruisers and watched Night of the Living Dead on a smart phone. Camilla wept softly from afar. Movie looked so fake.
Braaaains.
END
Jeff Bowles is a science fiction and horror writer from the mountains of Colorado. The best of his outrageous and imaginative work can be found in God’s Body: Book One – The Fall, Godling and Other Paint Stories, Fear and Loathing in Las Cruces, and Brave New Multiverse. He has published work in magazines and anthologies like PodCastle, Tales from the Canyons of the Damned, the Threepenny Review, and Dark Moon Digest. Jeff earned his Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing at Western State Colorado University. He currently lives in the high-altitude Pikes Peak region, where he dreams strange dreams and spends far too much time under the stars. Jeff’s new novel, Love/Madness/Demon, is available on Amazon now!
Check out Jeff Bowles Central on YouTube – Movies – Video Games – Music – So Much More!
_______________________________________________________________________
Want to be sure not to miss any “Bowlesian!” story segments? Subscribe to Writing to be Read for e-mail notifications whenever new content is posted or follow WtbR on WordPress. If you found it entertaining, please share.
Thanks to contributing author Joseph Carrabis giving us a taste of the stories in the new Visions anthology from WordCrafter Press. Follow the link to learn more.
Pre-order now: https://books2read.com/u/49Lk28
https://josephcarrabis.com/2022/10/02/michaele-jordans-farewell-my-miko-now-in-visions-anthology/
Thanks to contributing author Joseph Carrabis giving us a taste of the stories in the new Visions anthology from WordCrafter Press. Follow the link to learn more.
Pre-order now: https://books2read.com/u/49Lk28
https://josephcarrabis.com/2022/10/01/janet-garbers-the-treatment-now-in-visions-anthology/
Thanks to contributing author Joseph Carrabis giving us a taste of the stories in the new Visions anthology from WordCrafter Press. Follow the link to learn more.
Pre-order now: https://books2read.com/u/49Lk28
Digital Giveaway
For a chance to win a free digital copy of Refracted Reflections, just leave a comment to show you were here. Follow the tour and comment at each stop for more chances to win. Three copies will be given away in a random drawing.
On today’s tour stop, we have a guest post by contributing author Elisabeth Caldwell, who talks about the inspiration for her story. Her’s is a unique tale about that starts off the anthology with a bang. So, without further ado, I’ll let her tell you about the inspiration behind “The Mirror Guardian”.
“Mirror Guardian” Inspirations
Several years ago, I was in the shower washing my hair and noticed multiple dark strands of hair wrapped around my hands and fingers. Everyone loses hair when they wash it. But this was too much hair. And it kept happening. After multiple visits to various doctors, a dermatologist declared I had female pattern baldness. I would never recover the hair I had lost, but minoxidil would, hopefully, help slow the balding process.
Terror struck me, and my mind raced. What if the medicine didn’t work? How much hair would I lose? How fast would it fall out? If I lost too much hair, what would I do? Would I shave my head?
Night after night these thoughts kept me awake, and I started to try to envision what it might be like to be bald. How would people see me? Would they look at me or avert their eyes? How would I see myself? Would I be afraid to look in the mirror? Would I bravely go out in the world? Or would I hide myself away like a princess in a tower? Would a prince come to save me? Or would I be strong enough to save the prince?
I was organizing my bookshelves right around the time a friend forwarded me the call for submissions for mirror-themed short stories, and I came upon my favorite fairytale book that I had saved from my childhood. These were the same fairytales I had read to my daughters – daughters who are now teenagers barraged by social media full of air-brushed beauty. My girls scroll through image after image of seemingly perfect people leading seemingly perfect lives and are saddened by their own imperfections.
I am old enough to know that no person and no life are perfect.
Sitting with that worn and weathered book in my hand thinking of Maid Maleen who sat for seven years in a tower waiting to be rescued, I realized my girls deserved a fairytale of female strength. I wanted to give them a heroine who didn’t fit the traditional mold of beauty. Who didn’t let everyday conceptions of what she should be and how she should act define her. A heroine whose beauty shone like moonlight on her bare head. A heroine who didn’t sacrifice her happiness because it was expected of her.
And from this came Kella. I hope you enjoy her story!
About the Author
Elizabeth Caldwell grew up a Philly (and suburban Philly) girl with thick glasses and her nose buried in a book. When she was 12, she fell into the yellowed pages of one of her grandmother’s Mary Stewart novels and has been obsessed with reading and writing ever since. She sees fairies in the trees, mermaids in the ocean, ghosts peeking out the windows of sprawling Victorians in Cape May, and a story behind every couple that walks by holding hands. She writes poetry, short stories and novels.
Elizabeth lives in Bucks County, PA with her three vibrant children, a husband who is her soulmate and best friend, and one very sweet, albino corn snake. She practices law by day, writes by night and daydreams every chance she can get.
About the Book
Refracted Reflections: Twisted Tales of Duality & Deception
Refractions and Reflections…
A reflection can be revealing or deceptive. What stares back at you when you glance into the mirror?
A prison, designed to trap you and take away all that is dear to you?
A portal to another dimension? Another time?
An evil twin, luring you to the other side?
Your loved ones with a fond farewell?
A distorted version of yourself? A person you no longer even recognize?
A protective savior?
Do you dare to gaze into the looking glass?
Will what you see save you…, or haunt you forever?
If you liked Gilded Glass and Once Upon an Ever After, you’ll like Refracted Reflections: Tales of Duality & Deception.
Purchase Refracted Reflections at your favorite book distributor here: https://books2read.com/u/3kPyxn
Thanks for joining us today for Day 3 of the WordCrafter Refracted Reflections Book Blog Tour. I hope you enjoyed meeting Elizabeth and learning more about her outstanding story. Follow the tour for a chance for a free digital copy of this exceptional anthology, Refracted Reflections: Twisted Tales of Duality & Deception, or pick up your copy at the link above. Below are the links to the previous stops, in case you missed them:
Monday – September 19 – Introductory post on Writing to be Read
Tuesday – September 20 – Guest Post by author Ligia de Wit & a review on Carla Loves to Read
I hope you’ll join us again tomorrow on Roberta Writes, with a guest post from Valerie B. Williams about the inspiration behind her story, “The Tinker’s Gift”. Until then, Happy Reading!
______________________________________________________________________________
Book your WordCrafter Book Blog Tour today!
Welcome to the WordCrafter Refracted Reflections Book Blog Tour, where we will have reviews and guest posts from a few of the awesome authors who contributed to this unique and unsual fantasy & science fiction anthology. This is the second of three WordCrafter anthologies to include stories handpicked by me, mostly from the submissions which caught my eye when on the editorial team for Guilded Glass. This anthology was by invitation only and the stories contained within are exceptional. Today is the last day it will be available for pre-order, because the release is tomorrow!
Reflections and Refractions…
One reveals truths, while the other bends light into varying shapes of deception.
Does a small camp mirror reveal hope… or death?
Is the warrior in the mirror a monster… or a protector?
Does a glimpse in the mirror reveal a young woman’s true self… or what someone else has shaped her into?
Does the mysterious portal to the future reflect what could be… or what must be left behind?
Are the dancers reflected in the water’s depth things of beauty… or evil?
This unique and imaginative collection of nine mind tantalizing fantasy and science fiction stories will appeal to readers who enjoy thought provoking tales with hidden meanings resting deep below the surface. These stories will keep you pondering long into the night.
If you liked Gilded Glass or Once Upon an Ever After, you’ll love Refracted Reflections.
We have a great tour planned for this week and I hope you will stick with us and follow the tour. We have a great giveaway, where you could get a free digital copy of the anthology, just by leaving comments. Today is a double tour stop day, with this post and a review by DL Mullan on Undawnted, so be sure to click the link below and check out her review. You may leave comments for her review here, as well.
(Note: Links in the schedule below will not work until the post goes live.)
Tour Schedule
Refracted Reflections – September 19 – 23
Monday – September 19 – Introductory post on Writing to be Read & Review on Undawnted
Tuesday – September 20 – Guest Post & Review – Ligia de Wit on Carla Loves to Read
Wednesday – September 21 – Guest Post – Elisabeth Caldwell on Writing to be Read
Thursday – September 22 – Guest Post – Valerie B. Williams on Roberta Writes
Friday – September 23 – Review & Guest Post – Roberta Eaton Cheadle on Zigler’s News
___________________________________________________________________________________
Digital Giveaway
For a chance to win a free digital copy of Refracted Reflections, just leave a comment to show you were here. Follow the tour and comment at each stop for more chances to win. Three copies will be given away in a random drawing.
___________________________________________________________________________-
About The Book
Each of the stories included in Refracted Reflections feature a mirror or reflection in some significant way. The reflections given are sometimes surprising, often fooling those who gaze upon them, because things aren’t often as they seem.
I have included two of my own stories, “The Devil Made Her Do It”, which is a reprinted story about a woman blinded by love and deceived by a man who just might be the devil, which first appeared in Relationship Add Vice, from Zombie Pirates Publishing; and an original fairy tale, The Not So Perfect Prince, about a prince who is so full of himself that he can’t see who he truly is.
But mine are only two among nine outstanding stories by eight talented authors, and we’ll be introducing five of the contributing authors on this tour: Valerie B. Williams, Roberta Eaton Cheadle, Ligia de Wit, Elisabeth Caldwell, and of course me, Kaye Lynne Booth.
Follow the tour to learn more about Refracted Reflections: Twisted Tales of Duality & Deceptions, and for more chances to win a digital copy of your very own. Don’t forget to stop by Undawnted for DL Mullan’s review today, and you’ll find us over at Carla Loves to Read with a guest post from contributing author, Ligia de Wit and a review by Carla Johnson-Hicks.
About Kaye Lynne Booth
For Kaye Lynne Booth, writing is a passion. Kaye Lynne is an author with published short fiction and poetry, both online and in print, including her short story collection, Last Call and Other Short Fiction; and her paranormal mystery novella, Hidden Secrets. Kaye holds a dual M.F.A. degree in Creative Writing with emphasis in genre fiction and screenwriting, and an M.A. in publishing. Kaye Lynne is the founder of WordCrafter Quality Writing & Author Services and WordCrafter Press. She also maintains an authors’ blog and website, Writing to be Read, where she publishes content of interest in the literary world.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Book your WordCrafter Book Blog Tour today!
LOST: ONE MALE LIBIDO This libido (center figure) was last seen on December 31, 2016. It is approximately ten feet tall, six feet wide and four feet deep. It has between twelve and twenty horns of various descriptions. It’s covered in long brown fur and has eyes all the way around its cylindrical body. The number of fingers, tentacles and hands it may possess are unknown as it can sprout extra limbs at moments of high stress. It is not very intelligent but possesses a wild cunning that can catch pursuers off guard. If you see this libido DO NOT APPROACH IT. DO NOT ATTEMPT A DIALOGUE. IT IS NOT AMENABLE TO REASON. Call the local sheriff’s department, dial 911 or email me at artsdigiphoto@gmail.com.
There are commonly available and well known techniques that calm this libido but I discourage their use except in extremely dangerous situations. Under proper conditions this is a highly trained and valuable libido. I am reluctant to cause it damage or harm. You might call it by one of its names: Thor, Zeus or Johnny. This tactic may backfire, however, for if it is Johnny and is called Thor or Zeus it gets very upset. Likewise if it is Thor and is called Johnny, etc… The best approach is simply to say, “Hey big guy. How’s it hangin’.” It has been trained to recognize this as a non-threatening mnemonic. It may trigger my libido’s desire to return to its so-called master.
I repeat: DO NOT APPROACH THIS LIBIDO. CALL THE AUTHORITIES OR NOTIFY ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE at artsdigiphoto@gmail.com.
REWARD OFFERED: I will give you, free of charge, my guaranteed technique for healing all stress, depression and emotional trauma.
SPECIAL CAUTION: Do not mistake this libido for the so-called Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti or Skunk Ape. It is not a primate and is immune to veterinary drugs. Rather than seek out police or Forest Rangers it may be more useful to find an old shaman from the Chumash or Miwok tribes. A qualified shaman will likely be more useful in the safe return of this treasured libido.
_________________________________________________________________
Arthur Rosch is a novelist, musician, photographer and poet. His works are funny, memorable and often compelling. One reviewer said “He’s wicked and feisty, but when he gets you by the guts, he never lets go.” Listeners to his music have compared him to Frank Zappa, Tom Waits, Randy Newman or Mose Allison. These comparisons are flattering but deceptive. Rosch is a stylist, a complete original. His material ranges from sly wit to gripping political commentary.
Arthur was born in the heart of Illinois and grew up in the western suburbs of St. Louis. In his teens he discovered his creative potential while hoping to please a girl. Though she left the scene, Arthur’s creativity stayed behind. In his early twenties he moved to San Francisco and took part in the thriving arts scene. His first literary sale was to Playboy Magazine. The piece went on to receive Playboy’s “Best Story of the Year” award. Arthur also has writing credits in Exquisite Corpse, Shutterbug, eDigital, and Cat Fancy Magazine. He has written five novels, a memoir and a large collection of poetry. His autobiographical novel, Confessions Of An Honest Man won the Honorable Mention award from Writer’s Digest in 2016.
More of his work can be found at www.artrosch.com
Photos at https://500px.com/p/artsdigiphoto?view=photos
________________________________________________________________________
Want to be sure not to miss any of Arthur’s “Mind Fields” segments? Subscribe to Writing to be Read for e-mail notifications whenever new content is posted or follow WtbR on WordPress. If you find it interesting or just entertaining, please share.
*This story and others like it can be found in my collection, Fear and Loathing in Las Cruces, available on Amazon now.
{CLICK}
Welcome back to mysecretdiary.com, Jackson! Your personal online diary is open and ready for more secrets!
January 18
Mood: sad
Outlook: cloudy with a chance of misery
Jackson Palmer ain’t my name no more. I realized that today, diary. Pissed me off royally. They been calling me Jack the Hammer for nearly twenty years. Twenty goddamn years! Frustrating. Infuriating. I fix problems for people. Pretty good at it, too. Least I used to be. Mafia, Triad, I don’t judge. But what’s a hard case like me to do when I’m the one in need of fixing?
Here’s my secret for today, diary: I been doing this lousy work so long, I often forget there’s places out there where nobody gets shot, or extorted, or wrapped up in garbage bags and dumped in the Hudson River.
You should see what they been saying about me over on thugieslist.com.
{CLICK}
Welcome to thugieslist.com, the world’s premier consumer review site for mafia thugs, hit men, and muscle. You have selected to display the latest reviews for Hoboken, New Jersey’s Jackson “Jack the Hammer” Palmer.
wiseguyforlife36
Jack the Hammer is a total joke. I used to like the guy. I used to respect him like crazy. But he’s gone soft. There just ain’t no getting through to the guy. I specifically told him to keep an eye out.
“Jack,” I says to him. “You stay in the car and keep an eye out. Rosco and I will make the deal.”
So me and my boy Rosco went to make the deal, only the deal went south. They started shooting at us. We shot back. Rosco and I high-tailed it to the car.
“What the shit is this?” says Rosco.
Shit you not, Jack the Hammer was napping behind the wheel! You believe that? KEE-RIST!
One star for services NOT rendered!
collegegradmike
gradulated comunity college with Jack. hlped me improv my english, He’s an ok dood I guess. but I hav to say, the guys lost his edge. Same dood worked muscle for Boss DiMaggio for 17 yers. Imagine that guy going soFt! Its like he dont care no more. Not a profeshinal. Real slippery eel. and have you sen his face LaTeley? Talk about an major SKIN CONDITION! 2 stars.
{CLICK}
Welcome back to mysecretdiary.com, Jackson!
Diary,
I got two fists like Texas T-bones. Got a pendant for Saint George and a rosary around my neck. Got a stomach ulcer so big and bad it’s got its own mailing address.
Had to work over Ricky the Rat today. Poor old Rick was a broken, bloody wad of hamburger before I was through with him. I brought him down to the meat plant ‘cause the boss said to tenderize him.
He cried, “Don’t hit me no more, Jack!” and, “Not in the face! Mother of chicken lasagna, not in the goddamn face!”
But I couldn’t help myself. Used to have better control, you know?
“Look at you!” I said. “Bet you think you look better than me, Rick. So damn handsome. So debonair. I got a skin condition, understand?” I socked him in the eye. “I got a skin condition!” I slammed his head into a big suspended steer carcass.
“Awwwwooooow! You’re crazy, man! You’re fucking crazy! You look fine!”
Horse shit! Most people’re so flashy. Know what I’m saying? So damn flashy and sassy. And me. Look at me. Grade A, prime-cut loser. With a side of special loser sauce. And loser steak fries. So you can dip the fries into the . . .
Ah, what does it matter?
I worked old Ricky over pretty good. Too good, actually. The boss gets one good look at him and says, “I can’t use him like this. Poor bastard ought to be in traction.”
I could’a been a doctor, you know? Or even like a politician. Governor Palmer. Senator Palmer. The Hammer always got so much respect. But what if I don’t want to be the Hammer no more? Ah, hell, what if I don’t even know who the Hammer is?
Incoming message from friendtracker.com instant messaging
{CLICK}
—Jackson? Are you online?
Yeah.
—Payment didn’t come through, Jackson.
Jesus, doc, you know I’m good for it.
—I know you’ve been good for it in the past. I also know you’re having an existential meltdown at the moment.
So what if I am?
—Jackson, we’ve talked about this. Anger is always healthy. But what do we say about rage?
Come on, doc . . .
—Jackson, reinforcement is key. It really is. What do we say about rage?
You can’t spell discourage without rage.
—And?
You also can’t spell discourage without disco.
—And?
Disco is the prefix of both disconnect and discord.
—And?
Christ, doc, I gotta tell you, it gets fuzzy for me after that.
—Hmph. That figures. Where the fuck’s my money, Jackson?
Yeesh. I’ll get it to you.
—Huh?
I said I’ll get it to you. Next week. All right? Fair enough? Aren’t psychiatrists supposed to be, you know, more nurturing than this?
—Perhaps. Most psychiatrists don’t pay alimony to three different women, though. Good afternoon, Jackson. Onward towards mental stability!
{CLICK}
I think the doc means business this time, diary. I wonder how my cash reserve situation is looking.
{CLICK}
First Bank of Hoboken Online Branch: we are open and ready to serve you, Jackson.
Checking: $4.21
Savings: $0.02
We notice your funds are a bit low. Consider applying for a personal loan today!
{CLICK}
Note to self: sigh
{CLICK}
Welcome back to thugieslist.com. Previously viewed profile loaded.
DarthToughGuy
Hang on, hang on, hang the frig on. You guys want to tell me you’ve got nothing good to say about old Jack? Nothing at all? Hell, man, I’ll go to the mat for him. Maybe’s the guy’s lost his edge—and I ain’t saying he ain’t—but whatever’s bothering him right now, he’ll get it sorted out. Trust me. I grew up with Jack. Some’a youse wise guys know that 😉
He was a good kid, man. Good to his mom, good to his friends and his baby sister. He was smart. Real smart. I mean, his dad was a loser—put the belt to the poor guy, oh, three, four times a week—but I really do think Jack’s done well to make the best of a bad situation. How many of you bellyachers has this man bent over backwards for? How many times, whether you invited him to or not, has he bailed your assess out and pulled your scorching nutsacks from the proverbial fire?
When the boss says push a button on a guy, good old Jackie pushes the button. When the boss says take out that armored car containing kilo after glorious kilo of White Bunk, hell, man, he’s the only guy on the job don’t powder his own nose. We go way back, Jackie and me. He’s never let me down. At least, he never used to.
collegegradmike
earth to DarthToughGuy: Up yours, DINGUS LICKER! I don’t give a holy SHIZ whts “bothering” Jack. darth, plese. the guys a expert screw up! I wus with him the other day, Freakshow started crying in the middle of Dr. Hoo. I mean, we wer just sitting there, watching Dr. Hoo, and the looser starts bawlin like a little girl! I askd him what was wrong and all, Jack just wipes his eyes and says, “watch you’re fcking Dr. Hoo! Stop asking so many stoopid fcking questions!”
Fcker totoally ruined BBC nite with THE DOCTOR! Wht a jerk! My 2 star review has been downgraded to a very pissed off 1 STAR!
{CLICK}
Welcome to jobfisher.com! Reinvigorate your life with a new career from JobFisher today!
Search listings for: “thug” AND “hired gun” AND “gentle heart” AND “good with children”
Searching . . .
No jobs found.
{CLICK}
DarthToughGuy
Listen here, collegegradmike, you don’t know jack about Jack!
collegegradmike
I know he shits all ovr Dr. Hoo! Thats what I know!
{CLICK}
I just can’t understand where my life went off the rails, diary.
Yeah, I cry. Ain’t no shame in that. Show me a guy who don’t cry at all, and I’ll show you a real cold fish. My old man never cried. Not in front of me, anyhow. I am absolutely convinced he never shed a single tear in his life, neither.
I’m drinking too much. Maybe that’s the problem. What was that country song from back in the day? Beer full’a tears or some crap? Something like that?
Don’t know. Don’t care.
Hey, I got reasons to cry, all right? I got some shit wrong with my life. And I don’t just cry every once in a while. I cry a lot. More than a lot. I cry all the damn time. I’m a wreck. I’m a time bomb. I’m a—
Hold on. Pizza’s here.
. . . . . .
You see what I mean? You see how I just demolished that entire pizza by myself? Who the fuck does that? ‘Cept fer like chicks on the rag and super fat dudes and—
Aw, man, what the fuck is wrong with me!
Incoming message from friendtracker.com instant messaging
{CLICK}
—Jackson, it’s your psychiatrist again. 2nd wife late on Jaguar payment. Next week not soon enough. Going to need that money from you, guy. Pay up.
{CLICK}
DarthToughGuy
Hey, collegegradmike, go fuck yourself! How ’bout that, wise-ass? Go fuck yourself, you fucking SKIN FLUTE GUZZLER!
collegegradmike
Hey, fck you, pal! Fck you and fck you’re fcking hole lcking stupid fck face!
DarthToughGuy
Really? That’s nice. Umm, how old are you?
collegegradmike
the Fck dose it matter how fcking old I am?! Old enogh to stick a fcking candelabra up your fcking ace and lite it on fire with a fcking WWII flame throwr!
{CLICK}
Stop, STOP, STOP!
It’s too much craziness, diary. It’s too much insanity. Is a little peace and calm too hard to come by these days? Is catching just one goddamn break every now and then?
When I was kid, man, oh, I had everything figured out. I knew what the world was. Better yet, I knew who I was. How come I was so much wiser then? How come I feel so stupid now?
I’m forty-nine years old. I have no children. I have no significant other. Hell, man, most of the time I don’t even have a proper pad to crash at. I had chances to be happy. I had shots at the golden mile. But I blew ’em. Each and every last one of them. I feel ugly. I feel old. I hate myself so much it’s hard to breathe sometimes.
Ugh.
I guess you don’t understand.
‘Cause you’re just a stupid online diary.
And I substitute you for actual human companionship.
And I’m acting like some lovesick-puppy sixteen-year-old girl
Ugh.
Well that’s it. That’s decided. No more fucking around. Here we go.
{CLICK}
Welcome to jobfisher.com! Search listings for “entry level” AND “on-job training” AND “good with children” AND
{CLICK}
No, no, you know what, diary?
{CLICK}
Welcome to partyoftwo.com, the hottest spot for relationship hunting on the WWW!
Search for: “40’s-something” AND “warm personality” AND “generous spirit” AND
{CLICK}
No, that’s not it either, diary. A chick is the last thing I need right now. I know what I have to do. I know how to get my life back on track.
{CLICK}
First Bank of Hoboken Online Branch: consider applying for a personal loan today!
{CLICK}
You have selected Apply for a Personal Loan. Do you wish to continue?
{CLICK}
. . . Processing . . .
. . . Processing . . .
Personal loan approved! Congratulations, Jackson!
{CLICK}
Doc, are you still there?
—I am
Good
—You got my money?
Yeah, doc. Payment’ll be on your way real soon.
{CLICK}
Welcome to contractkillers.net!
We make people disappear, capicé?™
Search for: “Hoboken” AND “psychiatrist hit” AND “money no object” AND “make it hurt”
{CLICK}
You know something, diary? Maybe all I need is a little house cleaning. It’s not like anybody’ll be able to trace it back to me.
It all comes around. It all comes around, man. Where you been, Jackson? Where you been hiding?
Just like that, diary, I am feeling much, much better. 🙂
Jeff Bowles is a science fiction and horror writer from the mountains of Colorado. The best of his outrageous and imaginative work can be found in God’s Body: Book One – The Fall, Godling and Other Paint Stories, Fear and Loathing in Las Cruces, and Brave New Multiverse. He has published work in magazines and anthologies like PodCastle, Tales from the Canyons of the Damned, the Threepenny Review, and Dark Moon Digest. Jeff earned his Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing at Western State Colorado University. He currently lives in the high-altitude Pikes Peak region, where he dreams strange dreams and spends far too much time under the stars. Jeff’s new novel, Love/Madness/Demon, is available on Amazon now!
Check out Jeff Bowles Central on YouTube – Movies – Video Games – Music – So Much More!
_______________________________________________________________________
Want to be sure not to miss any “Bowlesian!” story segments? Subscribe to Writing to be Read for e-mail notifications whenever new content is posted or follow WtbR on WordPress. If you found it entertaining, please share.
And the Winners Are….
I have an announcement to make.
We finished up the WordCrafter Once Upon an Ever After Book Blog Tour on Saturday, and I do hope you all joined in. It was a great tour and we held a giveaway for three digital copies of Once upon an Ever After, and every comment earned an entry.
Now, I am pleased to announce that the three winners of the anthology giveaway are Liz Gauffreau, Annette Rochel Aben, and Sara W. McBride!
(I need to make contact with each of you to find out which digital format you prefer. If you don’t hear from me, please contact me at Kayebooth@yahoo.com.)
You can get your copy of this wonderful anthology from your favorite book distributor here.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nice Reviews
Ask the Authors 2022 has received a lovely review from Alex Norton on the Likely Story blog.
” I found it to be both interesting and useful, answering questions I didn’t even know I had and giving me different perspectives to ponder as I move forward on my own writing journey.”
You can find Alex’s full review here. I hope you will check it out.
Get your copy of this unique writing reference anthology from your favorite book distributor here.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
.The first review is out on Goodreads, from Madelon’s Reviews. Madelon does a nice job of making a brief statement about each story, as well as a review of the overall anthology, which states in part:
“Overall, REFRACTED REFLECTIONS provides a glimpse into the writing styles of authors you may want to read again.”
Refracted Reflections: Twisted Tales of Duality & Deceptions
Refractions and Reflections…
A reflection can be revealing or deceptive. What stares back at you when you glance into the mirror?
A prison, designed to trap you and take away all that is dear to you?
A portal to another dimension? Another time?
An evil twin, luring you to the other side?
Your loved ones with a fond farewell?
A distorted version of yourself? A person you no longer even recognize?
A protective savior?
Do you dare to gaze into the looking glass?
Will what you see save you…, or haunt you forever?
If you liked Gilded Glass and Once Upon an Ever After, you’ll like Refracted Reflections: Tales of Duality & Deception.
Scheduled for release September 20, 2022. Now available for pre-order from your favorite book distributor here.
Don’t miss the WordCrafter Refracted Reflections Book Blog Tour September 19 – 23 for a deeper look into this unique anthology.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Write it Right Quality Editing Services is currently open to new clients
See Write it Right‘s affordable rates and get a quote for your editing needs here.
Thank you all for following the WordCrafter Once Upon an Ever After Book Blog Tour. We’ve had a great tour, with two reviews, my interview with Robbie Cheadle, and guest posts from five of the contributing authors. We had a great group of authors contributing to this anthology and I want to thank authors Sarah Lyn Eaton, Roberta Eaton Cheadle, Olivia Merchiston, Linsay Elizabeth Gilbert, and A. E. Lanier for sharing their story inspirations. If you missed a stop, you may still visit it through the links below.
Tour Schedule
Monday – August 22 – Opening Day Post – Writing to be Read – Intro. & Guest Post – Sarah Lyn Eaton
Tuesday – August 23 – Patty’s World – Review & Guest Post – Robbie Cheadle
Wednesday – August 24 – The Showers of Blessings – Guest Post – Olivia Merchiston
Thursday – August 25 –Roberta Writes – Interview w/ Kaye Lynne Booth
Friday – August 26 – Zigler’s News – Review & Guest Post – Lyndsay Elizabeth Gilbert
Saturday – August 27 – Closing Post – Writing to be Read – Guest Post – A.E. Lanier
For a chance to win a free digital copy of Once Upon an Ever After,
just leave a comment to show you were here.
Follow the tour and comment at each stop for more chances to win.
Three copies will be given away in a random drawing
Today, we’re wrapping up the WordCrafter Once Upon an Ever After Book Blog Tour with a guest post from contributing author A.E. Lanier, who wrote “The Fourth Spire”, a haunting tale of knowledge lost. It’s a thought provoking tale of a burning library within a castle spire with a genuine fairy tale feel.
The Fourth Spire
Like most bookish people, I love a good library. Whether real or fictional, I like the idea of many books gathered in one place, the physical monument to the pursuit of knowledge, the fantasy of actually getting work done.
There have been many wonderful libraries–both real and fictional–in my life. I adored my local library as a child and ,like many people, was fundamentally changed by the library in the 1991 Beauty and the Beast. But my favorite library growing up was the one from Avatar the Last Airbender. A single tower reaching up out of the desert, hiding floor upon floor of mystically curated information, briefly discovered before vanishing below the sand once more–buried forever.
There is a romance to the destruction of a library. It feeds into the idea that there were things we once knew and never will again. The hope that perhaps we can relearn, tinged with understanding that the struggle between loss and rediscovery will cost us. It is nostalgia and a love of books and lost places all tied up in one.
“The Fourth Spire” came from my fascination with the aesthetic of the burning library. I wanted to explore what was valuable in mourning the destruction of a library and to consider whether there was something dangerous in romanticizing it. It was, in many ways, a question I was asking of myself.
I am the kind of person that watches an action film and winces harder when a scroll is burned than when an unnamed character is killed. At the end of the day, neither the character nor the scroll is real. But the scroll feels real in a way the character does not. And I sometimes find that impulse within myself disturbing. Books and artifacts are valuable and important, but I will mourn an unknown book in a way that I will not mourn an unknown person; its possibility is somehow more tangible to me.
“The Fourth Spire” is about that tendency to appreciate books more than people. And about the ways in which the knowledge we have lost is often more captivating than the knowledge we still have. I am not certain the story provided answers for me, but then I’m not entirely convinced I was looking for them. Certainly, it provided a feeling. A set of questions. And what more can we ask, really, of a burning library?
A.E. Lanier
A. E. Lanier is a writer, educator, and chronic overthinker living in Central Texas.She enjoys caves, silent reading, and other people’s cats. Her work has appeared in The Arcanist and Daily Science Fiction.
_____________________________________________________________________________
This unique and imaginative collection of eleven thought provoking fantasy stories will delight readers who enjoy stories of wishes gone awry.
What happens when…
A woman desires to carry on her family’s legacy, uncovering a long-buried curse?
A not so perfect witch casts a spell to defy age and preserve her relationship with her handsome shapeshifting familiar?
A time traveler longs to be the savior of knowledge lost?
An incompetent delivery boy becomes an unlikely savior of forgotten artifacts?
A magic mirror yearns for a different question?
A tiny story witch desires to share her stories with the world?
Spells are cast, unlikely alliances made, and wishes granted, sometimes with surprising outcomes. You’ll love this anthology of modern myths, lore, and fairy tales. Once you read these twisted tales, you’ll be sure to be careful what you wish for….
If you liked Gilded Glass, you’ll enjoy Once Upon an Ever After: Modern Myths & Fairy Tales, short stories with thought provoking themes, captivating characters and diverse cultures, from humorous to horrifying, from the legendary past to possible futures and back to the here and now.
You can get your copy of Once Upon an Ever After at your favorite book distributor through the Books2Read UBL here: https://books2read.com/u/mKdWGV
_______________________________________________________________________
Book your WordCrafter Book Blog Tour today!
