Writing Comedy for the Screen is a Risky Proposition

You read that headline right. Writing comedy for the screen is a scary business in this day and age, when every time you open your mouth, or your characters’ mouths, you risk offending someone, somewhere. Seriously.

Last semester, for my original pilot series, I created a series that takes place in a backwards fairytale land, where the fairytales are all wrong, called Unhappily Ever After. My main character, Cassandra, who is stuck there, tries to fix the fairytales in hopes that by doing so, she will find a way to get home. In my pitch, I listed ideas for several more episodes to show my idea could be sustained for thirteen episodes, or at least one season. In the notes my instructor sent back, he pointed out that I could be in trouble with my idea for my second episode, where one of the things that must be fixed is that a prince falls for Cass’s geeky sidekick and she has to find a way to make him fall in love with his princess, so the story can end with its happily ever after.

My instructor felt that I would be portraying a gay relationship as something that “needed fixing”, and that it might be offensive, although it would be clear that the reason it was “wrong” in the episode wasn’t that they were gay or bi, but that the prince and princess must marry, because that’s the way the fairytale goes. It’s funny, but it’s not intended to make fun of gays, or saying anything negative about being gay.

The episode ideas I listed flowed from one episode to the next and this second episode was designed to follow off the story line from the pilot episode, picking up right where we left off the week before, and the third episode would pick up from the second episode. To change that one idea would be to change the entire series story line, and I didn’t want to change it. My response to him was that no matter what you say these days, someone will be offended.

And I meant it. It’s true.

Not long after that, I saw a t-shirt advertised on Facebook that said, “You find it offensive, but I just think it’s funny”, and I realized that shirt summarizes the whole problem. I grew up with blonde jokes, and I loved them. Does that mean I believe the stereotype about blondes being lower on the IQ? No. I like blonde jokes because I find them to be funny. Now days if I tell a blonde joke, it’s almost certain that somewhere out there, there will be a blonde who will be offended, and then watch out. And half of those who are offended are likely to be bleached blonde, but they’ll identify as blonde and be offended, just the same.

In the past, bigoted characters like Archie Bunker endured because he was funny. You didn’t have to agree with his character to laugh at his jokes. Archie’s humor may even have helped to break down many stereotypes and biased thinking, because the Archie Bunker character was so extreme, that the ridiculousness of the opinions he expressed was apparent. Today, they broadcast things on television that would make my grandparents cringe, but when it comes to humor, you have to walk a thin line, for fear of being offensive.

In Hollywood, we’re hearing cries for more diversity in the industry, but as a writer, I hesitate to create a diverse character, for fear that when I reference them, it will be politically incorrect, especially when the politically correct terms change from day to day. When I was growing up, those with darker coloring were called Negros. In my twenties, the term to use was black. Now, I think it’s African American, but it may have changed again and I just haven’t got the memo. I’ve never been much for political correctness anyway. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’ve always been a bit of a rebel. According to my instructor, that needs to change or I won’t sell my script. The studios may not be willing to take a chance on something that might be offensive.

My point is that, no matter what term I use or how I portray my character, there’s no offense meant.  It may be easier to write comedy for a stand-up routine than it is to write comedy for television, because stand-up comedians can poke fun at themselves and that’s okay. Nobody will be offended if a Jewish guy gets up on stage and jokes about what it was like to grow up in a Jewish household, or a Latino woman pokes fun at the Cinco de Mayo festival. If I go by that rule, I can only poke fun at poor white trash and starving artists.

The thing about writing for television though, is the audience can’t tell if the writer of the low rider joke is Latino, and therefore immune to public scrutiny. Where I might use it to my advantage is in writing diverse characters. When the Asian characters of Fresh Off the Boat fun at Asian culture, or the African American characters of Black-ish joke about being “brothers”, no one gets offended. It’s okay for Max and Caroline to make jokes about the female anatomy because they’re female, even though the persons writing the jokes may not be. We don’t see the writers, so it doesn’t matter. The humor is funny, so we give ourselves permission to laugh. The characters are joking about themselves, so it’s okay.

It seems to me the basic problem here, is we, as a society have become so over-sensitive about stereotypes, that we are now limited as to what it is acceptable to laugh at. For a culture that prides ourselves with open mindedness and acceptance of other cultures, it seems to me that we’re pretty uptight. In order to embrace our differences, don’t we have to be able to laugh at them, and ourselves?

I think, as writers, we have to realize something. No matter what you write or what your characters say, somebody somewhere is going to be offended. Unfortunately, the people in the business who make the decisions about which shows get made and which don’t need to realize this, too. Right now, they are all so afraid of offending, that they may be passing up shows, like mine, which may be genuinely funny. As a society, we need to lighten up and give ourselves permission to laugh again, at ourselves and at each other. We need to get our collective sense of humor back.

A Writer’s Life is No Bowl of Cherries

So, you want to be a writer.

This is something I’ve aspired to for years. With the emergence of the Internet, things shifted radically, and today, there are more opportunities for writers than ever before and submitting your work is often as simple as a few keystrokes and an attachment. This is good for me, the aspiring writer, right? Well… maybe. The thing is, as I look around today, as I browse social media sights and check out Facebook groups, I find I’m not the only one trying to take advantage of all the new and emerging possibilities out there. Everybody andtheir brother seems to be calling themselves a writer and they’re all trying to take advantage of the numerous ways which are now available to get their words into print. After completing a M.F.A. program in Creative Writing and learning a few things about the business, I have to ask myself, why? Why does anyone want to be a writer? Why do I want to be a writer?

It certainly isn’t because I think I’m going to become rich and famous from the crafting of words. Only a select few ever become a household name from their books, and if there’s one thing I learned while going through my graduate coursework, it’s how the world of traditional publishing works. If I’m ever lucky enough to have a publisher pick up one of my books, I’d better hope for one that gives an advance, and many don’t, because unless my work goes viral and sells a million copies, that’s probably all the money I will ever see from it. What I didn’t realize before I got my graduate degree was how the system really works. With enough royalties, a person could theoretically, live comfortably for years to come, but what a lot of people don’t realize, what I didn’t realize, was that you don’t see any royalties from your book until you have sold enough copies to pay off whatever advance you receive. That means your book must do really, really well in order for you to see any profit. So, the chances of getting rich from your writing through traditional publishing avenues are quite slim.

With the emergence of the Internet came the self-publishing boom. It started with vanity presses and P.O.D. publishers, like Lulu, and progressed with the birth of the e-book through Amazon and Smashwords, to name only two of the many e-publishers out there today. Amazon makes self-publishing in electronic format look very tempting, offering a much higher percentage of royalties than traditional publishers. Surely, if you’re making 70% on every book you sell, you have to come out better than the minute percentages traditional publishers offer, right? Not necessarily. I’ve asked several of the independent authors who I know, and most are making very little off their books. You see, the book has to sell before you can make any money of it, and with the market swarming with new titles and more coming out every day, independent publishing is a tough road to take. Independent authors can’t rely on their publisher to promote their work and develop marketing strategies for their book, because they don’t have one. They are writer, publisher and agent for their work. They must fill all these roles themselves, and it is both difficult and time consuming work to get the word out about your book. Certainly for some it pays off, but the majority of independent authors are lucky to sell even twenty copies.

Of course, part of the appeal of being a writer is the idea of being your own boss, making your own schedule, working from home in your pajamas if you choose. But, I believe most writers today, whether traditionally or independently published, live the life of the starving artist, scrambling for work, or for a publisher, or for an agent to get them a publisher. I certainly am. I try and try, shrugging off one rejection letter, or e-mail, after another, always holding out hope that the next one I open will be an acceptance. Occasionally, my perseverance pays off and I do get something published, an article or short story, or maybe a poem. But I still have to ask myself why I endeavor to persevere if not for the money?

I think many of us who strive to become writers do so because there exists a creative force within us that needs to be expressed, a story that must be told. We are creatives, and when an idea or image takes hold of us, there is no pushing it to the side until we pound it out on our keyboards, or scribble it out on a notepad, or a napkin, or whatever is at hand. The urge to create is a part of who we are. It’s as much a part of our beings as are our preferences in music or favorite foods. And a large part of the appeal of being a writer is the desire to share our creations with others. Why else would we keep pounding away at our keyboards, submitting our work in the face of repeated rejections, and laying our souls on the line?

I’m not saying it isn’t possible to make a living from your writing. Certainly there are authors out there who do. But, it isn’t the stereotypical write in your p.j.s, make your own schedule, and party until the early morning hours that we may have come to believe a writer’s life is. No, my friends. It is hard work. It is writing until you can’t see the words on the page, hustling to meet deadlines, selling yourself and your work at every opportunity, continuing to submit in the face of rejection, and searching your soul to make every word you put on the page ring true. That’s the life of a writer, and it’s no bowl of cherries, but it’s what we want more than anything, because the words must flow out of us onto the page. I say that’s why we write. What about you? Why do you write?

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Weekly Writing Memo: Where does it end?

Every ending in a story is a pause. Some pauses are long, like the end of a novel. Others are short, like the end of a sentence. Whenever you have an ending of some sort in a story, your audience is taking a pause before going on so you need to choose those moments carefully. You want to make the most of the endings in your work, and use them for a purpose that helps your story. Never make an ending, just to end something.

In a Sentence:

Something I know I’ve had trouble with in the past, is when to end a sentence. Sometimes, I like to make long sentences that pack in a lot of detail, and go on and on, because I like the flow of them. Other times I keep things short. If you do too much of one type of sentence, however, it can lead to a very repetitive rhythm in your writing which can get tedious to read. The key is to choose your sentence endings carefully, and to try and vary your rhythms now and then.

If you want to emphasize a specific detail, sometimes it works better to put it in a short sentence that stands out. If you want to create a flow of description, sometimes a long sentence works better. Figure out what the most important element of your sentence is, and however you write it, make sure that element is being given the focus and attention it needs. If it is, then however you end your sentence works.

In a Paragraph:

Oddly enough, there are a lot of writers I’ve talked to who struggle with figuring out when to make a paragraph break. Paragraph breaks help the reader read more smoothly, and not get lost in a huge chunk of writing. It also gives them an opportunity to pause if needed, without risking losing their place in the story. Beyond that, a paragraph break can be used for:

1. Emphasis – such as when you want a detail to stand out, so you make it a paragraph of its own. Or, if you want to emphasize an image, you can end or start a paragraph on that image, which forces the reader to pause on that image.
2. Transition – if you’re going from one setting or plot element to another, a new paragraph can help the transition by creating a physical break between the words.
3. Dialogue – as most know, paragraph breaks are also used to distinguish dialogue speakers from each other, and to help break the dialogue out from the action so it’s easier to read and recognize at dialogue.

Overall, the purpose of paragraphs is to help the flow of the text, so use the endings of paragraphs to help the flow of your story.

In a Novel:

In a novel, there are chapter endings, as well as the novel ending. Each chapter should have a small plot arc of its own that is developed. Whenever that minor arc is finished, it’s a good opportunity for a chapter break. These give the reader a chance to catch their breath, and it gives the write the chance to move the story forward by jumping in time, setting, or character as needed.

As for the ending of novels, then when you think you’re at the end, ask yourself  “if my story ends here, what would the reader still want to know that is important?” If there are things left, then write a bit more to answer those questions. If you find yourself starting to set up a new plot or conflict too much that would lead to another story, then you have gone past the ending. There can be set-up for another story, but it should be minor and imply what the next story should be about, not completely set-up the next story.

In a Script:

In a script, most endings come out by the ending of a scene or a conversation. So when do you end a conversation between two characters? When do you end a scene? In general, every scene or conversation should end as soon as all the information that needs to be established in it has been delivered. Of course, you’ll want to make sure you have a natural transition in and out of the scene so there may be a line or more extra, but you don’t want much beyond that. Before you write any scene you should know what the purpose of that scene or conversation is. If you know this, then you know when you’ve achieved it with your writing. As soon as you have, find a way to end or wrap up the scene so you can keep the story moving forward.

Final Notes:

Endings are hard, because figuring out if you’ve told the audience too much, or too little, requires you to have an objective perspective. Since the writing is yours, that is not always easy. To help, whenever you’re writing some form of ending, ask yourself three questions:

1. Have I told my audience everything they need to know?
2. Is there anything I’ve told them that they don’t need to know?
3. Is there anything that I can remove without changing the story?

If you can answer those questions, then you know what needs to be in the story, and you know where your endings are.