Titles, titles. It’s all about the titles. If you can write an article called “A Sex Cult Kidnapped My Kitten” and present some credible material, you will gain new readers. The titles drive the readership. I’ve cooked up some titles for you here, guaranteed to build audience. Let’s see: .” “Russian Captive Breeding Program Producing Ukrainian Zombies”
Or
“Penis Envy Among Narcissists”. or “Trump’s UFO Claimed By Repo Men”. “Ten Ways To Get More Lust.” There’s “Elvis Is Alive and Has Become a Woman”. How about this? “I Got Kim K Pregnant And I’m a Giraffe.”
Okay, about the kitten and the sex cult. I’ve had kittens but never joined a sex cult, so far as I know. I think the 60s were a sex cult and I’m sorry they’ve passed and it’s now 2023 and no one knows what they’re doing. The world hasn’t just gone nuts: it’s been nuts forever. If we get up in the morning and think, “Wow, the world is crazy” just try to imagine what your grandpa did during World War Two. You think the world is crazy now. It is. You don’t have to worry about certain things but you have other things to worry about and I’ll mix in a few more titles here: “Global Warming, History’s Greatest Scam”. Then there’s “My Narcissism Was More Trouble Than It Was Worth”. How about “Government Collapses Without Suspenders”.
Or “Hog Breeding And Cryptic Marriage Ceremonies In Papua.” The list goes on and on. The magic titles grab attention. These days one must market one’s self, even if the aptitude for marketing is non existent. If you don’t market yourself you’ll be writing titles like this one: “Even I Don’t Know How I Got Involved With Idiotic Medium Posts”. You might try “I Get Paid To Be Stupid”. That would draw thousands of readers. I wish I could write that story but alas, I’m too stupid.
The ultimate give- away title of the year goes to Ruben Pondwater, of Gassy Beach, Florida. His suggestion was “If You Try Hard Enough You’ll Hurt Yourself.” I might write that one. Everybody seems to be engaged in massive efforts to cure the world of its ills. I’ve never seen generations like the recently spawned Millenials, Gen-X’s, Gen Z Plus , Post Boomers, and Nazi Hippies. These people work so hard! Surely the ills of the world will be healed by the time the thirtieth century rolls around. We’ll be swooping through wormholes into the future and then returning to the past and re-writing these Medium articles to have global impact. Try to imagine that!
Arthur Rosch is a novelist, musician, photographer and poet. His works are funny, memorable and often compelling. One reviewer said “He’s wicked and feisty, but when he gets you by the guts, he never lets go.” Listeners to his music have compared him to Frank Zappa, Tom Waits, Randy Newman or Mose Allison. These comparisons are flattering but deceptive. Rosch is a stylist, a complete original. His material ranges from sly wit to gripping political commentary.
Arthur was born in the heart of Illinois and grew up in the western suburbs of St. Louis. In his teens he discovered his creative potential while hoping to please a girl. Though she left the scene, Arthur’s creativity stayed behind. In his early twenties he moved to San Francisco and took part in the thriving arts scene. His first literary sale was to Playboy Magazine. The piece went on to receive Playboy’s “Best Story of the Year” award. Arthur also has writing credits in Exquisite Corpse, Shutterbug, eDigital, and Cat Fancy Magazine. He has written five novels, a memoir and a large collection of poetry. His autobiographical novel, Confessions Of An Honest Man won the Honorable Mention award from Writer’s Digest in 2016.
Want to be sure not to miss any of Arthur’s “Mind Fields” segments? Subscribe to Writing to be Read for e-mail notifications whenever new content is posted or follow WtbR on WordPress. If you find it interesting or just entertaining, please share.
Writing to be Read 
Mind Fields: It’s The Titles That Count
Posted: March 3, 2023 | Author: artrosch | Filed under: Commentary, Humor, Mind Fields, Opinion, Writing | Tags: Arthur Rosch, Humor, Mind Fields, Titles, Wit, Writing, Writing to be Read | 2 CommentsTitles, titles. It’s all about the titles. If you can write an article called “A Sex Cult Kidnapped My Kitten” and present some credible material, you will gain new readers. The titles drive the readership. I’ve cooked up some titles for you here, guaranteed to build audience. Let’s see: .” “Russian Captive Breeding Program Producing Ukrainian Zombies”
Or
“Penis Envy Among Narcissists”. or “Trump’s UFO Claimed By Repo Men”. “Ten Ways To Get More Lust.” There’s “Elvis Is Alive and Has Become a Woman”. How about this? “I Got Kim K Pregnant And I’m a Giraffe.”
Okay, about the kitten and the sex cult. I’ve had kittens but never joined a sex cult, so far as I know. I think the 60s were a sex cult and I’m sorry they’ve passed and it’s now 2023 and no one knows what they’re doing. The world hasn’t just gone nuts: it’s been nuts forever. If we get up in the morning and think, “Wow, the world is crazy” just try to imagine what your grandpa did during World War Two. You think the world is crazy now. It is. You don’t have to worry about certain things but you have other things to worry about and I’ll mix in a few more titles here: “Global Warming, History’s Greatest Scam”. Then there’s “My Narcissism Was More Trouble Than It Was Worth”. How about “Government Collapses Without Suspenders”.
Or “Hog Breeding And Cryptic Marriage Ceremonies In Papua.” The list goes on and on. The magic titles grab attention. These days one must market one’s self, even if the aptitude for marketing is non existent. If you don’t market yourself you’ll be writing titles like this one: “Even I Don’t Know How I Got Involved With Idiotic Medium Posts”. You might try “I Get Paid To Be Stupid”. That would draw thousands of readers. I wish I could write that story but alas, I’m too stupid.
The ultimate give- away title of the year goes to Ruben Pondwater, of Gassy Beach, Florida. His suggestion was “If You Try Hard Enough You’ll Hurt Yourself.” I might write that one. Everybody seems to be engaged in massive efforts to cure the world of its ills. I’ve never seen generations like the recently spawned Millenials, Gen-X’s, Gen Z Plus , Post Boomers, and Nazi Hippies. These people work so hard! Surely the ills of the world will be healed by the time the thirtieth century rolls around. We’ll be swooping through wormholes into the future and then returning to the past and re-writing these Medium articles to have global impact. Try to imagine that!
____________________________________________________________________
Arthur Rosch is a novelist, musician, photographer and poet. His works are funny, memorable and often compelling. One reviewer said “He’s wicked and feisty, but when he gets you by the guts, he never lets go.” Listeners to his music have compared him to Frank Zappa, Tom Waits, Randy Newman or Mose Allison. These comparisons are flattering but deceptive. Rosch is a stylist, a complete original. His material ranges from sly wit to gripping political commentary.
Arthur was born in the heart of Illinois and grew up in the western suburbs of St. Louis. In his teens he discovered his creative potential while hoping to please a girl. Though she left the scene, Arthur’s creativity stayed behind. In his early twenties he moved to San Francisco and took part in the thriving arts scene. His first literary sale was to Playboy Magazine. The piece went on to receive Playboy’s “Best Story of the Year” award. Arthur also has writing credits in Exquisite Corpse, Shutterbug, eDigital, and Cat Fancy Magazine. He has written five novels, a memoir and a large collection of poetry. His autobiographical novel, Confessions Of An Honest Man won the Honorable Mention award from Writer’s Digest in 2016.
More of his work can be found at www.artrosch.com
Photos at https://500px.com/p/artsdigiphoto?view=photos
_______________________________________________________________________
Want to be sure not to miss any of Arthur’s “Mind Fields” segments? Subscribe to Writing to be Read for e-mail notifications whenever new content is posted or follow WtbR on WordPress. If you find it interesting or just entertaining, please share.
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