Everyone is a Critic: “Tale of Tales”
Posted: March 10, 2025 Filed under: Dark Fantasy, Everyone is a Critic, Fantasy, Film Review, Horror, Movie Review, Movies | Tags: Everyone is a Critic, Fairytales, Movie Review, Tale of Tales, Writing to be Read Leave a comment
Three kingdoms. Three horrific tales, braided into one tragically horrendous fairytale in the classic tradition, Tale of Tales is a skillfully crafted triple fairytale. Fairytales were used to frighten children into behaving themselves in days of past. They are supposed to strike fear in readers, or in this case, viewers, so the element of horror is no surprise here. Everyone knows fairytales are tales of tragedy and don’t always have a happy ending. Even when they do have a HEA, the characters must face gruesomely frightening trials to reach that point.
A King (John C. Riley) and Queen (Selma Hayak) of the kingdom of Longtrellis are barren and will stop at nothing to have a son. The Queen summons a necromancer to make her wish come true. Upon his instruction, the King slays the sea monster, but loses his life. None-the-less, she eats the sea monster’s heart and bears a son, Elias Christian Lees, with alabaster skin and hair. At the same time as the cook bears a son, Jonah (Jonah Lees), who looks enough like Elias to be his identical twin, and the two boys grow up to become fast friends who are inseparable. Enraged after the boys fool her, the Queen sends the cook and her son away, but the boys’ bond is stronger, and when her son, Elias, fears his friend is in trouble, he runs away to go to his aid. Desperate for the return of Elias, the Queen summons the necromancer once more. She will have her son back, but at what price?
The King of the kingdom of Strongcliff (Vincent Cassell) becomes lustful when he hears a beautiful voice and must have the singer as his wife. But the singer is one of two sisters, aged spinsters, Imma (Shirley Henderson) and Dora (Haley Carmichael), who fool the King and he unwittingly takes Dora to his bed under her insistence that it be in complete darkness. Enraged upon waking and discovering her true appearance, the King has his guards throw her from the cliffside castle window, but Dora survives and is found by a witch who suckles her, giving her back her youth. The King and his hunting party found the beautiful young woman (Stacy Martin) laying on the forest floor and he falls in love and makes Dora his Queen. But Imma is lonely and longs to have her sister back with her, threatening to reveal Dora’s secret. Dora turns Imma away, leaving her alone to suffer a tragic end.
The King of the kingdom of Highhills (Toby Jones) becomes fascinated with a flea and makes it a pet that grows to gargantuan proportions. When his daughter, Violet (Bebe Cave), wishes to be married, he develops a plan to make her happy without risking losing her by placing the fleas hide on his wall and promising her hand to any suiter who can guess the creature that it came from. But it leads to the loss of his daughter when an ogre (Guillaume Delaunay) guesses correctly by smell, and he is forced to give Violet to the ogre, who takes her to his cave in the side of a high cliff. She’s recued by a family of acrobats, but the ogre slays them all and Violet fools the ogre and slits his throat. She returns to the kingdom, to find her father ill, and presents him with the head of the husband that he chose for her.
Official Clip: https://images.app.goo.gl/pAFnUmGSwCHFgcXo6
The three kingdoms and their tales are brought together at Violet’s coronation, where representing Longtrellis, Elias is in attendance, as well as the King of Strongcliff and his new Queen. But the witch’s magic wears off and Dora loses her youthful appearance and sneaks away unnoticed.
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For Kaye Lynne Booth, writing is a passion. Kaye Lynne is an author with published short fiction and poetry, both online and in print, including her short story collection, Last Call and Other Short Fiction; and her paranormal mystery novella, Hidden Secrets; Books 1 & 2 of her Women in the West adventure series, Delilah and Sarah, and her Time-Travel Adventure novel, The Rock Star & The Outlaw, her the first three books in her kid’s book series, My Backyard Friends, her poetry collection, Small Wonders, and her writer’s resource, The D.I.Y. Author. Kaye holds a dual M.F.A. degree in Creative Writing with emphasis in genre fiction and screenwriting, and an M.A. in publishing. Kaye Lynne is the founder of WordCrafter Quality Writing & Author Services and WordCrafter Press. She also maintains an authors’ blog and website, Writing to be Read, where she publishes content of interest in the literary world.
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This segment of “Everyone is a Critic” is sponsored by the Midnight Anthology Series and WordCrafter Press.
Midnight Roost: Weird and Creepy Stories: 20 authors bring your nightmares to life in 23 stories of ghosts, paranormal phenomenon and the horror from the dark crevasses of their minds. Stories of stalkers, both human and supernatural, possession and occult rituals, alien visitations of the strange kind, and ghostly tales that will give you goosebumps. These are the tales that will make you fear the dark. Read them at the Midnight Roost… if you dare. https://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Roost-Kaye-Lynne-Booth-ebook/dp/B0CL6FPLVJ
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Everyone is a Critic: Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead
Posted: November 11, 2024 Filed under: Crime, Everyone is a Critic, Film Review, Movie Review, Movies | Tags: Everyone is a Critic, Kaye Lynne Booth, Things to Do in Denver When Your Dead, Writing to be Read Leave a comment
The 1995 crime film, Things to do in Denver When You’re Dead. It’s an older movie, but I found it quite enjoyable to sit down and watch this movie.
A cross between a mobster movie and a tragic romance, this film carries both story lines well. Ex-mobster, Jimmy, The Saint, Tosnia, played by Andy Garcia, and his buddies are drawn back into the fold unwillingly by mob boss, “The Man With The Plan”, played by Christopher Walken, after his son, Bernard, played by Michael Nicolosi, is arrested for child molestation. When the plan goes terribly wrong, it becomes a death sentence for Jimmy and his crew. They are all dead and they know it, stalked by Mr. Shhh, played by Steve Buscerni, the hitman who never fails and shows no mercy. Jimmy is allowed a reprieve if he leaves Denver, but there are a few things to take care of before he goes. Jimmy has met a girl, Dagney, played by Gabrielle Anwar, and he’s trying to win her heart, but now he must walk away to protect her.
You’ve got to love the cast of colorful characters, who are made bigger than life by the actors who play them. Jimmy is making a new life for himself, running a faltering business recording the thoughts and messages of those who are terminally ill. Jimmy’s crew are all ex-mobsters, trying to make new lives for themselves: Pieces, played by Christoper Lloyd, who runs a x-rated movie theater and spends his days with porn running in the background; Easy Wind, played by Bill Nunn, runs a boxing ring; Critical Bill, played by Treat Williams, who has some definite rage issues to work out and finds rather unique and gruesome ways to do that; and Big Bear Franchise, played by William Forsythe, has a wife and kids to worry about.
Not surprisingly, this movie was filmed in Denver, where I grew up, and the familiarity of setting definitely added to my enjoyment of this movie, making it all seem more real to me. In the photo above, the crew is at Crown Hill Cemetery, where I have relatives buried, as do many other Denverites.
This is not your typical mobster movie, and there are no happy endings. The fun lies in seeing how it all plays out, with more than a few surprises. I never knew how many things there are to do in Denver when you’re dead.
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Everyone is a Critic: Anacondas
Posted: October 31, 2024 Filed under: Everyone is a Critic, Film Review, Horror, Movies, Review | Tags: Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, Anacondas: Trail of Blood, Everyone is a Critic, horror, Kaye Lynne Booth, Movie Review, Writing to be Read Leave a comment
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)
Anaconda: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid is predictable, following all the horror tropes, but it’s done well and I found it quite entertaining, with plenty of action. This movie is a stand alone sequel to the original Anaconda (1997) movie.
Bill Johnson is the boat captain, played by Johnny Messner, leading a group of scientists including Sam Rogers, played by KaDee Strickland, Dr. Jack Byron, played by Matthew Marsden, Dr. Ben Douglas, played by Nicholas Gonzalez, Intern Cole Burris, played by Eugene Byrd, and Gail Stern, played by Salli Richardson-Whitfield into the jungles of Borneo. In search the mythical black orchid, which can supposedly grant eternal life, which can only be accessed every seven years.
This film has all the elements you’d expect to find in a horror flick, including the greedy scientist who will go to any length to retrieve the precious flower, which is worth millions, who bribes the captain to take them into dangerous territory to save time. When their boat goes over a waterfall, the scientists land right in the middle of the territory where massive anacondas have been feeding on the legendary orchids for years, proving that the mythical powers of the flower are true, and they quickly find themselves fighting for their lives amoung the monstrous snakes.
I thought that surely the teeth in the enormous snakes’ mouths, were just special effects to make our monster snakes look more fierce, but nope. I looked it up and anacondas actually do have rows of razor sharp hook-like teeth, used to help secure their prey while they wrap around them before the squeeze, and also to guide the prey down the snake’s throat pushing it back. Exposing this fact elevates these snakes, in my mind, from slightly fakey special effects to truly scary monsters which our expedition members will have to be strong and cunning to overcome.
Anacondas: Trail of Blood (2009)
Anacondas: Trail of Blood is the forth movie in this franchise and a sequel to the third. There wasn’t as much money thrown at this msde for television movie as there was thrown into the first two cinematic movies and it shows.
In this movie, a genetically created baby anaconda is experimented on, cut in half and injected with a serum made from the blood orchid, cultivated by a scientist, who is killed by the snake he has created in the opeining scene. The serum not only has properties of longetivity, but also those of regeneration, creating a monster snake which is almost impossible to kill. Much of the action is running through the jungle to escape the monstrous beast.
The snake, itself is more fakey looking than the monster snakes seen in previous movies in the franchise, looking to me, as if it were made of cheap plastic.
Also, I felt this movie had too many players to keep track of. We have a member of a science team, Amanda Hayes, played by Crystal Allen, who is out to stop the dastardly plan of their employer, Murdough, played by John Ryes-Davies, to harvest and create the serum for his own selfish purposes, and she aims to keep him from getting his hands on the research. It is her goal to destroy everything to do with the serum, as she sees the evil purposes the serum could be used for. She initially arrives with two cops, and a lone teen hiker joins their ranks.
Then we have a group of archelogists intent on excavating a recently discovered dig in the area and a group of mercenaries hired by Murdough to retrieve the serum and the research and eliminate Amanda. Quite frankly, the snake didn’t seem to care which group its victims were from, as a side effect of the serum is apparently an insatiable appetite and fierce aggressiveness. There are so many characters that I found it difficult to relate to any single one. Without some type of connection to make me care about these characters, I wasn’t as invested in the outcome as I might have been.
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About Kaye Lynne Booth
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Everyone is a Critic: The Woman in Black
Posted: October 31, 2024 Filed under: Everyone is a Critic, Film Review, Ghost Stories, Horror, Movies | Tags: Everyone is a Critic, Ghost Stories, Gothic Horror, Kaye Lynne Booth, Movie Review, Writing to be Read Leave a comment
The 2012 film The Woman in Black is the second adaption of a 1983 novel of the same title, by Susan Hill. This gothic supernatural horror is the best recent example I have seen of a good, old-fashioned ghost story.
In 1906, Attorney Arthur Kipps, played by Daniel Radcliffe, is called to the village of Crythin Gifford to collect the papers of the deceased owner of a place called Eel Marsh House, located on the other sid eof the marsh from the village. He recieves a strange reception from the villagers, and the village attorney is downright hostile, but Arthur is deteremined to see his task through.
During his stay at Eel Marsh House, strange things happen: unusual noises, a bolted door, toys that wind up on their own, a rocking chair that rocks by itself, and a woman dressed in black out on the marsh, as he uncovers the truth of local legend of a vengeful spirit which plagues the village, preying on their children for many decades. All who see her lose a child. He finds himself on a new mission, to reunite mother and child, in order to save his own son, who is enroute to join him.
The house has a really spooky feel, set in the foggy marsh which is only accessible during certain times of day due to periodical flooding by the tide. And the lady in black gives off a truly menacing feeling, as we learn how she lures the village children to their deaths.
While formulaic, as most horror films are, this was is very well-executed to make the beats fit together seamlessly as the story unfolds. It has a good plot with just enough special effects to make it believable and draw you into the story, and a surprising ending that isn’t what you’d expect. (No spoilers here.) There are still those scenes where you feel that the character is making the stupidest choice possible, because any sane person would turn tail and run, but if the characters didn’t do dumb things, there would be no story. But they managed to tell this story without all the blood and gore, which I found refreshing. Overall, I truly enjoyed this suspenseful gothic horror story. It’s been a while since I watched a movie which kept me on the edge of my seat.
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About Kaye Lynne Booth
For Kaye Lynne Booth, writing is a passion. Kaye Lynne is an author with published short fiction and poetry, both online and in print, including her short story collection, Last Call and Other Short Fiction; and her paranormal mystery novella, Hidden Secrets; Books 1 & 2 of her Women in the West adventure series, Delilah and Sarah, and her Time-Travel Adventure novel, The Rock Star & The Outlaw, her the first three books in her kid’s book series, My Backyard Friends, her poetry collection, Small Wonders, and her writer’s resource, The D.I.Y. Author. Kaye holds a dual M.F.A. degree in Creative Writing with emphasis in genre fiction and screenwriting, and an M.A. in publishing. Kaye Lynne is the founder of WordCrafter Quality Writing & Author Services and WordCrafter Press. She also maintains an authors’ blog and website, Writing to be Read, where she publishes content of interest in the literary world.
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Everyone is a Crtic: The Mummy (2017)
Posted: October 31, 2024 Filed under: Action/Adventure, Everyone is a Critic, Film Review, Horror, Movies, Review | Tags: Action, Everyone is a Critic, horror, Movie Review, The Mummy (2017), Writing to be Read Leave a comment
I’m always leary of remakes, especially of first movies which I really enjoyed. Such was the case with 2017 remake of The Mummy, starring Tom Cruise, Russell Crow and Annabelle Wallace. I loved the original 1999 take on this story, with Brandon Frasier and Rachel Weisz. As with any remake, it is impossible for me to judge the newer version without referring back to the original, especially if they are similar. So, let me just say right now that I didn’t find the humor of the first movie, which I enjoyed, in the 2017 remake, and although the stories are somewhat similar in that they both unearth a mummy and unleash a curse on mankind which must be stopped, the two are really nothing alike.
A cross between Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Mission Impossible, the 2017 movie is pretty much non-stop action. From tomb raiding to underwater adventures, Tom Cruise’s character, Nick Morton, doesn’t get a moments rest and the character of Jenny Hasley, played by Anabelle Wallace, is the classic damsel in distress. There are even parts where you have to question who the good guys really are, and nothing is clear cut.
What is an Egyptian princess doing buried in the middle of the Middle Eastern dessert, entombed for thousands of years? And what happens when her resting place is discovered and her slumber disturbed? The special effects are superb and the mummy, played by Sophia Boutella, is wicked. Imotep has got nothing on Princess Ahmanet as she unleashes her rage on the city of London. Apparently, Egyptian princesses awaken in a really bad mood.
The 2017 version of The Mummy is a great action movie with enough horror blended in to bring a mythological monster to life once more. I really enjoyed watching this film.
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About Kaye Lynne Booth
For Kaye Lynne Booth, writing is a passion. Kaye Lynne is an author with published short fiction and poetry, both online and in print, including her short story collection, Last Call and Other Short Fiction; and her paranormal mystery novella, Hidden Secrets; Books 1 & 2 of her Women in the West adventure series, Delilah and Sarah, and her Time-Travel Adventure novel, The Rock Star & The Outlaw. Kaye holds a dual M.F.A. degree in Creative Writing with emphasis in genre fiction and screenwriting, and an M.A. in publishing. Kaye Lynne is the founder of WordCrafter Quality Writing & Author Services and WordCrafter Press. She also maintains an authors’ blog and website, Writing to be Read, where she publishes content of interest in the literary world.
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Everyone is a Critic: Bone Tomahawk – Not for the faint of heart
Posted: September 23, 2024 Filed under: Everyone is a Critic, Film Review, Horror, Movies, Review | Tags: Bone Tomahawk, Everyone is a Critic, horror, Movie Review, Western, Writing to be Read Leave a comment
They classified this 2015 Craig Zahler film as western horror-two genres you don’t see cross often. Although quite graphic, Bone Tomahawk has a slow, but necessary, build-up, which ends up telling a powerful but horrific story, with Kurt Russell as a strong lead character.
I admit, I grew up knowing Russell as a child actor, portraying roles in Disney films such as The Shaggy Dog and The Computer That Wore Tennis Shoes, and still to this day, I have a hard time buying into his tough guy roles like Snake Pliskin in Escape From New York or Wyatt Earp in Tombstone. But I must say that Russell, by the end of each of those movies, had become the character in my mind, and they were all characters I had come to like. In this film he portrays the tough small town Sheriff with a strong sense of morals, adding to the impact of the story through his portrayal.
The story builds slow, with an abduction serving as the inciting incident, sending the Sheriff and his compatriots into the desolate and wild landscape of the American frontier in pursuit, determined to bring the captives back or avenge them. The Sheriff and his elderly deputy are joined by a bounty hunter and theinjured husband of the abducted woman, and they all seem like unlikely companions, making for a adequate amount of tension and inner turmoil along the way as they strive to find and face an unknown enemy. What they find is worse than their darkest imaginings.
The setting may be the western frontier, but there will be no doubt as to why Bone Tomahawk was given the horror classification. The monsters that must be battled are of the human variety, but they are horrific and brutal, none-the-less. The scenes are graphic and violent, and sure to touch a nerve.
The ending was unexpected, but I’m not providing any spoilers for this powerful movie.
For horror fans who are not squeemish, this movie tells a impactful tale that will touch you at the deepest levels of your own humanity.
About Kaye Lynne Booth
For Kaye Lynne Booth, writing is a passion. Kaye Lynne is an author with published short fiction and poetry, both online and in print, including her short story collection, Last Call and Other Short Fiction; and her paranormal mystery novella, Hidden Secrets; Books 1 & 2 of her Women in the West adventure series, Delilah and Sarah, and her Time-Travel Adventure novel, The Rock Star & The Outlaw. Kaye holds a dual M.F.A. degree in Creative Writing with emphasis in genre fiction and screenwriting, and an M.A. in publishing. Kaye Lynne is the founder of WordCrafter Quality Writing & Author Services and WordCrafter Press. She also maintains an authors’ blog and website, Writing to be Read, where she publishes content of interest in the literary world.
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Jeff’s Movie Reviews – The Trial of the Chicago 7
Posted: October 16, 2020 Filed under: Film Review, Jeff's Movie Reviews, Movie Review, Movies | Tags: Historical Drama, Jeff's Movie Reviews, The Trail of the Chicago 7, Writing to be Read 2 CommentsBomb Throwers and Peacemakers
by Jeff Bowles
Movie reviews generally don’t work when the reviewer gets too opinionated. Politics, for instance. Just kind of common sense “the movie guy” shouldn’t vent his issues with this candidate or that major event all over your nice, unsuspecting blog visit. I don’t even have to be qualified to tell you that, do I? I’m not qualified, by the way, not in the least, but then, who among us is? Look ma, no hands.
It should be noted, however, that this movie reviewer is a human being, and as is the annoying habit of most human beings, he can’t help actually having an opinion. And a unique perspective, he might add.
I might add. Sorry.
I’m a Millennial, which means Aaron Sorkin’s new political courtroom drama, The Trial of the Chicago 7, is perhaps made with me in mind. After all—and it’s clear as day for everyone with news access to see—the events surrounding the 1968 Democratic National Convention closely mirror protests and riots happening at this very moment, all over this country, chiefly led or supported by people my approximate age.
It feels like if you’re in your twenties or thirties in this day and age, you’re expected to be a revolutionary in one sense or another. At one point I had a nice job as a technical writer, and as the young blood, the fresh meat, revolution was supposed to have been my forte. That word, revolution. I wonder if most people understand what it means before an honest to god revolutionary moment has broken out. They definitely understand afterward, as did the eight men put on trial for an alleged conspiracy to incite a riot and provoke Chicago police into acting violently against Vietnam War protesters during the ‘68 DNC. This whole thing is so tied up in politics, nostalgia, and bright yet somehow startlingly foggy memory that it binds up my fingers and makes it difficult to type the full length of this review. And that’s saying something. I haven’t even gotten out of my bathrobe yet.
Truthfully? I’m more of a peacemaker than a bomb thrower. I think I recognize a time and place for the latter, but as the former, I can’t get behind violence for the sake of ideas, the most transient of all puffy white clouds in humankind’s mental skyline. The Trial of the Chicago 7 seems bent on assuring me revolution is a positive thing. Should I take the film’s word for it? I wonder. In fact, I find I’ve always had to wonder.
Aaron Sorkin is known for precisely two things: incredibly sharp pacing, dialogue, and character work that’s often rendered too slickly and can add up to less than the sum of its parts. And The West Wing. That too.
That this film has been in the works for fourteen years doesn’t surprise me, nor does Sorkin’s clear intention to finally produce and release it just before the 2020 general election. Yes, it’s star-studded and wonderfully written, and yes, it’s also too whimsical and nonorganic to present the events of that time and place with any kind of genuine honesty. Basically, all the historical components are there. These young men, they couldn’t have understood what they were in for. Sacha Baron Cohen is too old to play Abbie Hoffman but knocks it out of the park regardless, and Jerry Rubin is basically turned into a two-hour-long stoner joke.
But what the heck? It’s not as sensationalized as an Oliver Stone movie, and I believe general consensus circa 2020 is that these eight men stood for something noble and endured a fascist political trial under a federal judge who had no intention of doing anything less than screwing them to the wall. Again, this seems to be Sorkin’s intended memorandum, and again, I don’t think I’m all that interested in agreeing or disagreeing. I’m the movie reviewer, after all. The movie is what it is, and my role is cut and dry.
Except to say this. If violent (and I must be frank, even nonviolent) revolutions are so effective, why do human beings always seem to wind up entangled in them? My mind works this way: there will never be a positive and lasting human revolution until and unless human beings themselves, on both an individual and collective level, revolutionize their own archaic hearts and minds. This nonsense of us versus them, this grand illusion, it has plagued us from the very beginning. I don’t bow down to more of it, and I realize I might be alone in that kind of thinking.
Also, very simply, it must be asked if Sorkin himself is aware of the ability of commercialized entertainment to stoke passionate societal flames almost as easily as calling for blood from behind a podium. The potential responsibility inherent in such an acknowledgment, it may be too much for his kind of star power. Regardless, his new Netflix film is easy to enjoy, to digest, and to dismiss. And really, isn’t that the best sort of popcorn entertainment?
I could engage with The Trial of the Chicago 7 a bit further, but not easily, not without being forced into more politics. Systemic racism is addressed, for instance. But not in a way that will satisfy people sick to death of the anglo-savior storytelling trope. Again, nuts to politics, what about the beating heart of a man gagged and shackled in the middle of a US courtroom? That would be Bobby Seale, the event depicted without teeth but after a fashion, I suppose, accurately enough. What about a growing awareness that essentially, we have the same soul, the same tormented passions? Does that kind of thinking seem present or absent in today’s politics? Or the politics of 1968? Or of any other era for that matter?
The wheel keeps spinning, the bomb throwers throw, the peacemakers do their best, and somehow, one way or another, all of it seems destined to end up on my TV.
Jeff’s Movie Reviews gives Netflix’s The Trial of the Chicago 7 a seven out of ten. Good enough for government work, if government work is indeed on offer.
Jeff Bowles is a science fiction and horror writer from the mountains of Colorado. The best of his outrageous and imaginative work can be found in God’s Body: Book One – The Fall, Godling and Other Paint Stories, Fear and Loathing in Las Cruces, and Brave New Multiverse. He has published work in magazines and anthologies like PodCastle, Tales from the Canyons of the Damned, the Threepenny Review, and Dark Moon Digest. Jeff earned his Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing at Western State Colorado University. He currently lives in the high-altitude Pikes Peak region, where he dreams strange dreams and spends far too much time under the stars. Jeff’s new novel, Love/Madness/Demon, is available on Amazon now!
Check out Jeff Bowles Central on YouTube – Movies – Video Games – Music – So Much More!
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Game Of Thrones: IS It Toxic?
Posted: March 22, 2019 Filed under: Art's Visual Media Reviews, Film Review, Television review | Tags: Art's Visual Media Reviews, Fantasy, Game of Thrones, Review, Writing to be Read 6 Comments
My wife and I watched this series, all five available seasons (at the time), in one big gory splurge. Maybe that was our mistake. It is addictive viewing, it has memorable characters and every episode ends with a cliff-hanger.
I’ll be candid and admit that we have been in an emotional slump. My wife and I have had a difficult year. That being said, perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to expose ourselves to such villainy and gore. I can imagine that viewing this series one episode at a time might be less harrowing. But who does that? Are you kidding? In this age of Streaming?
Nah! Binge viewing is the thing we do. Doesn’t everybody grab a series and watch every episode, one after another? Don’t deny it. TV isn’t a guilty pleasure any more. TV is survival, an alternate reality in which to hide from our terrifying world.
Game of Thrones is High Fantasy. It has the medieval world-set, the armor, weapons, horses, castles, all that stuff that goes into High Fantasy. It has dragons, magical creatures and a looming menace that evokes our own present-day world with its apocalyptic terrors. As we watched we found that our depression began taking on a more vicious edge. Our dreams were disturbed. My wife muttered curses in the night and I went on a sleepwalking excursion, standing at the window completely unaware that my junk was exposed beneath the wrinkled edge of my t-shirt. I think I was waiting for some demon to creep into our home to steal our souls.
As a writer I must always ask a question of the story I’m writing: Is this story worth being told? If I apply that yardstick to Game of Thrones, I’m not sure it passes muster. Without the genius of Peter Dinklage playing “the imp” I wouldn’t have gotten sucked into the plot. Acting is an interesting process to watch. Great actors take good roles and define them for all history. Dinklage will hereafter always be known for his Tyrion Lannister role. Before Tyrion he was a famous dwarf and an actor. Now he is far more famous and completely identified with his character. No one cares that he has short legs. He has earned RESPECT. He carried Game of Thrones on his talent. The series is unimaginable without the work of Peter Dinklage.
There were so many beheadings, throat slittings, impalings, knives to the gut, arrows through the throat, squished eyeballs, spear thrusts through-and-through that it became like a creeping poison, leaking from the TV screen and crawling along the margins of the room, heading straight for our vulnerable psyches. We have no one to blame but ourselves. No one forced us to watch this wretched excess of medieval mayhem. We watched. We were sick with flu, flattened with fibro, fucked up with gastric distress, hamstrung with hernia….and we watched ten thousand extras get squashed by rocks and broiled with flaming oil. Oh, what a violent series! Add a healthy dollop of perfect naked titties and asses, muscular adolescent boys all frolicking with one another and whaddayaknow? It’s really all sex and violence, tits and ass. I can imagine the producer shouting on the set: “Did we book enough tits today?” He points to a Production Assistant. “We’re running out of tits! You, boy! Go find some tits, get out there on Sunset and round up a few dozen nice tits. Get some handsome boys while you’re at it. We need some asses, too….make sure they’re eighteen and have them sign their releases.”
Game Of Thrones. It was a relief when Season Five ended. We’d had enough. It was like eating a whole bag of miniature Reeses Pieces. It made us sick.
It was delicious when we started. Then it got a little cloying but we couldn’t stop. Then we wanted to puke and still we couldn’t stop. It was crazy! Get us to some Hallmark Entertainment, or….some Disney. No, wait. When you look deeply enough into Disney you find shit that’s even more creepy than Game Of Thrones.
Now, the temptation to watch Season Six looms ever more seductively.
A Midwesterner by birth, Arthur Rosch migrated to the West Coast just in time to be a hippie but discovered that he was more connected to the Beatnik generation. He harkened back to an Old School world of jazz, poetry, painting and photography. In the Eighties he received Playboy Magazine’s Best Short Story Award for a comic view of a planet where there are six genders. The timing was not good. His life was falling apart as he struggled with addiction and depression. He experienced the reality of the streets for more than a decade. Putting himself back together was the defining experience of his life. It wasn’t easy. It did, however, nurture his literary soul. He has a passion for astronomy, photography, history, psychology and the weird puzzle of human experience. He is currently a certified Seniors Peer Counselor in Sonoma County, California. Come visit his blogs and photo sites. www.artrosch.com and http://bit.ly/2uyxZbv.
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Jeff’s Movie Reviews – Captain Marvel
Posted: March 15, 2019 Filed under: Comic Hero, Fantasy, Film Review, Jeff's Movie Reviews, Movie Review, Movies, Super Hero | Tags: Captain Marvel, Jeff's Movie Reviews, Movie Review, Movies, Super Heroes, Writing to be Read Leave a comment
The Marvelous Mrs. Marvel
by Jeff Bowles
(For more on Captain Marvel, be sure to check out my full video review)
As far as Marvel movies go, Captain Marvel feels refreshing, if a bit familiar. It carries with it little of the eccentric energy found in other recent Marvel flicks like Thor: Ragnarok and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, but it also requires less of audiences who have yet to drink the Marvel Kool-Aid. Much like 2018’s box office behemoth Black Panther, the hero in question is not a white male, and as the star of a major Hollywood production released in the #MeToo era, that makes all the difference.
Which isn’t to suggest Marvel Studios’ latest doesn’t give plenty of nods to what has come before, and perhaps in a more lucrative vein, to what’s still headed our way. We finally learn how Nick Fury lost his eye, for instance, but filmmakers Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck are also thrilled to butter us up for that big late-April showdown called Avengers: Endgame (check your calendars, kids. Don’t forget to pre-order all the toys, and oh yeah, maybe a movie ticket or five).
If superhero tropes and comic-isms are as indecipherable to you as Kree battle language, odds are good the scope and scale of the Marvel Cinematic Universe rings hollow. Some of us have been on board since we were kids, leafing through our favorite monthly Marvel comics like little back-issue hording zealots. But if your speed is less Captain America and more … well, any other movie ever made, really—it’s safe to take heart. Captain Marvel is a pretty good jumping on point.
Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) is an Air Force fighter pilot with super-powered amnesia. A strange event in her past wiped her memories clean and granted her incredible abilities, the sum total of which she’s dutifully employed freedom-fighting for a race of intergalactic warriors known as the Kree (best personified by her squad leader, Yon-Rogg—played by master geek-movie thespian, Jude Law). When the Kree’s deadliest enemies, a race of green shapeshifters known as the Skrulls, capture Carol and bring her back to Earth, the nascent Captain Marvel must team up with S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Nick Fury (an impressively de-aged Samuel L. Jackson) to discover the secret behind the pivotal accident. Plus, you know, she’ll get to rock out to an unquestionably righteous and eclectic 90s soundtrack.
The fact that this movie takes place in 1995 only adds to its charm. There are era-specific nods and in-jokes aplenty, including a fun Stan Lee cameo that’ll tug at your sense of nostalgia. The film’s setting also means that most of the super-heroic hi-jinks found in the other 20 MCU movies have yet to occur. It’s a prequel more than anything else. Rounding out the cast are an unexpectedly funny Ben Mendelsohn as Skrull commander Keller, Lashana Lynch as Carol’s best friend, Maria Rambeau, and a de-aged Clark Gregg, happy to take a break from playing Agent Coulson on ABC’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to play … a younger-looking version of the exact same character.
Additional highlights include a cute but vicious orange cat named Goose, though I won’t spoil the big reveal here, and the marvelously named Air Force marvel, Mar-Vell (a somewhat spaced out and liminal Annette Bening). For the most part, Captain Marvel gets by on its charm. It’s best described as an above average superhero origin story, but unfortunately, there remains a certain amount of roughness in its narrative. Big chunks of exposition get belted out from behind scads of green creature makeup, and the grand finale carries enough logic gaps you may find yourself wondering, “She was just fighting that guy. So now who are these people?”
A lot of early buzz surrounding this movie included controversial comments made by Larson herself, but really, if a storytelling medium largely created by boys for boys can’t come to grips with a few girls getting in on the action whenever they damn well please, there’s less hope for this world than any of us could have ever imagined. Captain Marvel as a character has been blasting across the universe since the late sixties, but it was only in recent years that a woman donned the suit. And Larson does a fantastic job portraying Danvers on film. She is cocky, self-assured, funny, compassionate, caring, and once her full powers get unleashed, wonderfully formidable. A certain kinship evolves between her and Samuel Jackson’s Agent Fury, and moments spent in the Louisiana home of her best friend Maria prove that an intergalactic badass can be all about family, too.
Audiences are likely to get more out of the experience if they possess a running mental lexicon of all things Marvel, but unlike last year’s Avengers: Infinity War and the forthcoming Avengers: Endgame, Captain Marvel is likely to be a fun time no matter what prior knowledge you have going in. If you’re burned out on films featuring god-like people beating the holy Skrull out of each other, you may be better entertained elsewhere. But as Thor Odinson once famously declared to the world-eating demon Surtur, “That’s what heroes do.”
It’s a very geeky multiverse we live in, people.
Jeff’s Movie Reviews gives Captain Marvel an 8 out of 10.
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Jeff’s Movie Reviews – Coming 2 America
Posted: March 12, 2021 | Author: Jeff Bowles | Filed under: Commentary, Film Review, Jeff's Movie Reviews, Movie Review, Movies, Opinion | Tags: Comedy, Coming2America, Eddy Murphy, Jeff's Movie Reviews, Writing to be Read | 2 CommentsThe Once and Future King?
by Jeff Bowles
So let’s say you’re a movie star who’s been part of the popular imagination for forty years. You’re given the opportunity to reprise a role that helped establish your legacy, and let’s be honest, the big parts aren’t exactly pouring in these days. Should you A). Disregard said opportunity, knowing full well it’s very difficult to capture lightning in a bottle, or B). Throw caution to the wind and have a great time making a follow-up to a movie successive generations know and love?
Eddie Murphy appears to have found himself in just such a situation, because when it came time to make a sequel to Coming to America, he didn’t hesitate. Without a doubt, he and the filmmakers would’ve preferred to debut this new movie in theaters, but that’s not an option during a global pandemic. Coming to America 2 (or is that Coming 2 America?) is available exclusively on the Amazon Prime Video streaming service. The original is widely considered one of the best comedies of the ‘80s. It’s sharp, aggressive, honest, romantic, and best of all, silly in all the right ways. A lot of time has passed since its release, yet it still holds up remarkably well. So why not give it a sequel? Why not take all these fan-favorite characters for another spin around the block?
Here’s why. Nostalgia is only as good as the material propping it up. If a film is going to devote most of its comedic resources to nailing the exact same jokes and situations as its predecessor, it’s got to work twice as hard to prove itself worthy of our time. Unfortunately, Coming 2 America proves nothing except the obvious: you can never go home again. Look, you walk into the barbershop and all the characters are played by Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall. Same joke as last time. Still funny, but not as funny as it used to be. Or maybe you go out to listen to a band with a terrible lead singer (also played by Eddie Murphy) and their ridiculous name, Sexual Chocolate, makes you smile. Same joke as last time. Still funny, but…
This pattern appears consistently throughout Coming 2 America’s runtime. Even the basic premise amounts to a variation on a well-established theme. This time around Prince Akeem (or rather, King Akeem) must travel to the US in order to meet his illegitimate son. Hijinks ensue, but um, why does it feel so exhausting? It’s like going to see your favorite band and hearing nothing but cover songs. Wesley Snipes, for instance, plays a pretty clear-eyed comedic version of a murderous warlord turned politician, but his presence does nothing to disrupt the flow of same-old, same-old. No sequel has ever ruined a great predecessor. People may say so, but rarely does the supposition hold water. This sequel, in fact, only makes you want to watch the original more. ‘Cause it was killer fun. You know, yay for that original!
A couple other potential pitfalls for audiences looking to recapture thirty-three-year-old magic: there’s no swearing. I mean none. No nudity either. Is that a problem in general? Nope, but the first movie had some serious edge to it, and this thing does not. In essence, it feels like a sequel to a totally different film. There’s also a serious lack of material shot on location. For a film that takes place in Africa and New York City, movie sets are uncommonly common. Incidentally, just a few days after its release, Coming 2 America quickly became the most streamed movie on any platform during the COVID-19 era. Go ahead and look it up, Amazon has a hit on their hands.
Realistically, though, they should’ve had to work just a bit harder to earn it. Watch this movie and see how quickly you forget about it. For my wife and me, the shelf life was two days, two whole days, and then it vanished like an errant spray of Soul Glo hair product in the wind.
Oh no, a callback to the original movie. See? They’ve even got me doing it now!
None of this is to suggest Coming 2 America is little more than a jaded corporate cash grab. Sincerely, the movie appears to have been made with the best of artistic intentions. Word on the street is Eddie Murphy now wants to make another entry in his Beverly Hills Cop franchise. Everything old is new again. Or is it the other way around? Let’s try Casablanca 2, or maybe Citizen Kane: Rosebud’s Revenge. Apocalypse Now, Now. Star Wars Episode … nope, never mind. They did that one already.
Jeff’s Movie Reviews gives Coming 2 America a Six out of Ten.
Jeff Bowles is a science fiction and horror writer from the mountains of Colorado. The best of his outrageous and imaginative work can be found in God’s Body: Book One – The Fall, Godling and Other Paint Stories, Fear and Loathing in Las Cruces, and Brave New Multiverse. He has published work in magazines and anthologies like PodCastle, Tales from the Canyons of the Damned, the Threepenny Review, and Dark Moon Digest. Jeff earned his Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing at Western State Colorado University. He currently lives in the high-altitude Pikes Peak region, where he dreams strange dreams and spends far too much time under the stars. Jeff’s new novel, Love/Madness/Demon, is available on Amazon now!
Check out Jeff Bowles Central on YouTube – Movies – Video Games – Music – So Much More!
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