Review in Practice: That Th!nk That You Do, volume 2

I volunteered to be a first reader for author Joseph Carrabis for his upcoming nonfiction book on romance and relationships, That Th!nk That You Do, vol. 2. I reviewed the first book of this title and you can read that here: https://writingtoberead.com/2023/05/15/review-in-practice-that-thnk-you-do/. While that first book deals with human thought processes and behaviors in general, volume 2 deals with romance and relationships, and the differences between the sexes. His premises are based on solid research and contemporary studies, and may be pretty accurate, unless you are weird, like me.

How age affects perspective, and my reviews.

In the section titled “Romancing Real Women”, Carrabis offers us two different versions of a passage from a hypothetical romance story. The first is what I would call romance adventure, where the dashing hero saves the damsel in distress, with a big, muscular male playing the part of hero. The second offers up a loving, playful, sensitive male character, who puts his heroine up on a pedestal. Then he asks which you think will catch a woman’s attention, and goes on to explain why they are both very age demographic:

“the former is designed to attract younger women more so than older women. Mature women will appreciate the former but the latter fantasy will stay with them.”

This is not surprising, as I would have guessed that the first would appeal to the younger, more hormonal group of females. And of course, as an older woman, I can see why the second version would stay with more mature women, who value stability in their lives.

I’ve never been one to go in for sappy, feel-good writing, which many romances are, and why I read so few of them and why I don’t write them. I can’t make myself do it, although I know I could if I wanted to. I even have outlines and beginnings for a few stored away with my trunk novels.

But I’m not heartless and I am female, so I do read romance occasionally. But, I don’t think I’m looking for a hero. In fact, I don’t think I ever was. I’m not a fan of Scarlet O’hara being swept off her feet by Rhett Butler, but if an author can keep it realistic, I can make it through the story and often, enjoy it.

But here’s the thing. After reading this, I had to wonder if the same factors Carrabis shows us might not also affect the way that I review a romance, especially since neither of the examples used appealed to me in a big way. Upon first thought, I would have said that it’s always been that way for me, but I had to wonder if my romance reviews have changed over the years without my noticing. And I don’t think it has.

When I was a judge for the Western Writers of America’s Spur Awards, back in 2018, they gave me the western romance category. Although I cringed when they gave me my category, I found that for me, as long as a tale carries a good, strong, storyline to hold my interest, I can tolerate the romance, even if it is a little sappy. And to be honest, I was mostly through that hormonal stage before I started doing my blog and/or book reviews, so perhaps this line of thinking doesn’t prove or disprove anything, but it is an interesting premise to explore.

If you’re interested, you can catch my western romance reviews of Spur contenders here: https://writingtoberead.com/2020/03/30/judging-for-the-2020-w-w-a-spur-awards/

Meeting His/Her Family

Carrabis emphasizes how much you can learn about your partner from meeting his/her family. Interactions within the family can be indications of how your partner may prefer to communicate their needs and desires, as well as their attitudes toward others, giving you an idea of what type of life-partner they might be. And it does make sense.

Thinking back to when I met my second husband’s family, I think I should have run like hell. If I had, it would have saved a lot of greed later, because the dysfunctional traits and behavior never went away and came back repeatedly to bite me in the butt. But if I had, I also wouldn’t have spent most of my adult life with a man that I truly love, and frankly, I can’t imagine what life without him would have been like, so I’m glad that I didn’t.

Other Interesting Points Made

Another interesting claim Carrabis makes, is the importance of voice in relationships, from harmonic voices tending to form a closer bond, to holding on to the partner whose voice you enjoy hearing, and the benefits of a partner who sings. Also, I loved the chapter titled, “Men Get Stupid Over Sex”, which talks about the different types of risk which sex poses for men vs. women, and men’s willingness to risk more. I would guess that the risks may seem greater for men in recent times because, as Carrabis points out, only in recent times, have men been forced to take responsibility for their actions and their offspring

Summary

A life-long student of the human condition, Carrabis shares some astute insights into the human condition and differences between the sexes based on solid research and personal observations. He offers these up with a pinch of humor, making reading this book feel like chatting with an old friend. I was able to relate his premises to relationships in my own life, and in many cases, they were spot on, with interesting ideas on some different ways to approach the search for a soulmate.

Buy direct from the author: https://josephcarrabis.com/books/#TTYDv2


Interview with romance author Molly V. Lovell

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If you were expecting a book review today, you’re in for a bit of a surprise, since I’m bringing you an author interview instead. I have the pleasure of talking with romance author Molly V. Lovell to round off the FMB tour for her latest book, A Sibling’s Dilemma. When not writing romance, Molly studies law at William and Mary. Join us as we learn about this double romance and the intriguing author who wrote it.
Kaye: Your book A Sibling’s Dilemma was recently released. Would you like to tell us a little about how two sisters and their double romance will double the reading pleasure?

 

Molly: In my opinion (and it may just be me), having lots of interesting and unique characters makes a story read better. A genre convention for romance novels is that there needs to be a happy ending. No happy ending=no romance novel. This is good, in a way, because people look to romance novels for a fun, happy, read—it’s the hallmark of the genre. But, the downside to that is that you know how the book ends before you pick it up. When you have multiple couples, it adds a little mystery to it. Who’s going to end up with who? Are both couples going to be together at the end? There’s going to be a happy ending somehow, but you don’t know what that happy ending is.

Kaye: You are a law student by day and novelist by night. What’s the trick to juggling two careers at the same time?

Molly: Honestly? As long as I budget my time, it’s okay. I spend about 40-50 hours a week doing legal work and about 40 hours a week writing and promoting my books. An 80/90-hour work week is very manageable, especially when you’re doing something that you love. I’m fortunate enough to have two jobs that I’m very passionate about. In a way, having two very separate and distinct careers is easier than having just one—I never get bored. When I tire of legal stuff, I write. When I get writers block, I hit the books again. My husband and I don’t have any children, which makes things easier too. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting other romance novelists who work, write, and have kids. I don’t know how they do it because that’s like having three jobs. I just have two.

Kaye: What’s something most readers would never guess about you?

Molly: I’m actually an only child. You’d think that someone who wrote a book called A Sibling’s Dilemma would be tripping over siblings, but it’s just me. I’m fortunate enough to have three life-long friends that I would call my sisters though. (They’re nothing like Cassie and Ellie, for the record.)

Kaye: What time of day do you prefer to do your writing? Why?

Molly: I like to write whenever I can. Usually “whenever I can” turns into the evening because of law school. I also do this really weird thing where I like to write with the TV on in the background. (I measure my stories through how many series I blow through on Netflix. If you’re curious, this book took me the entirety of X-Files, most of Pretty Little Liars, and a boat load of one-season Netflix original series to write.) It’s nice because I can write while I’m hanging out with my husband; I’ll take breaks every so often and we’ll chit-chat and stuff. Writing’s always a fun time for me. Whenever I’m not out with friends or doing law school stuff, I write (and watch TV.)

Kaye: Which author, dead or alive, would you love to have lunch with?

Molly: Okay, I’m going to have to say Ernest Hemingway for this one. I’m not a huge fan of Hemingway’s books. I mean, they’re great and all, but there are other authors that I like more. Hemingway’s an interesting guy though. You can only talk about books with someone for so long—that would get old after about fifteen minutes. Hemingway’s done all sorts of interesting stuff. He was an ambulance driver during WWI, lead a group of French Militia against the Nazis, stole a urinal from his favorite bar, survived a ton of weird illnesses, lived through two plane crashes, and was kind of a spy at one point for the KGB. (Well, the KGB part is kind of sketchy, but it was the 1940’s…) Hemingway even has his own hamburger recipe. Who else does that? No one. We could go to bars and eat hamburgers. It would be great.

Kaye: What is the biggest challenge of being a writer for you?

Molly: The biggest challenge is that, with being a writer, you need to wear many hats: it’s sort of like being a small business owner. Writing itself isn’t too hard though. My other career, law, can be a bit more challenging at times. I spent a great deal of time clerking at prosecution offices and that’s way more taxing—especially because I did a lot of stuff with sex offense and domestic violence. It can get emotionally hard at times, but also rewarding. I’ve done jobs that are physically demanding too; I worked night shift McDonalds during college. That was hard. Really hard. I guess, in comparison, writing’s not that challenging—even with all the ‘hat wearing’ involved. I don’t have to stay up until five A.M. dealing with angry customers looking for their cheeseburgers.

Kaye: If writing suddenly made you rich and famous, what would you do?

Molly: I wouldn’t change my day-to-day life, actually. I would still finish my JD and I would still go into criminal law because I believe in what I do. We need good prosecutors and good public defenders. Even if I were a multi-millionaire, my day-to-day life would be the same. I would, however, do something really nice for my parents. Buy them a fancy mansion or something like that. I would definitely go on an awesome vacation with them too. (They just took me to Bermuda, so it’s fresh on my mind.) They’ve done so much for me and I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. Being an only child, I feel like I’m closer to my parents than most people. They’re my best friends too. I would do something nice for them. In addition, none of the people I care about would want for anything. I guess that’s what everyone dreams of if they become rich—doing nice things for the people they love. I’d probably give most of the money away. I have simple tastes. I mean, my favorite food is McNuggets. You don’t need to be rich and famous to eat McNuggets, hang out with friends, and write on your couch. My husband has simple tastes too.

Kaye: When did you know you wanted to be an author?

Molly: I used to love to write as a kid. My best friend and I were big nerds and we would write all the time. We made up really elaborate fantasy stories. Mine was called Unakarie’s Tail (because I didn’t know the difference between “tale” and “tail” as a kid) and hers was called Magic Factor. We would obsess over our books and stay up late drawing our characters and writing cross over stories. I wrote like, a hundred pages. For a ten-year-old, that was like writing War and Peace. Then, being a nerd and all, I transitioned to fanfiction. I stopped writing for a bit when I went to college, but then about a year ago I realized how much I loved to write and picked it up again. I started writing my own story with my own characters and it’s so much fun. This time I managed to not have any typos in my title, so that’s progress.

Kaye: How would you describe yourself in three words?

Molly: Friendly, off-beat, tenacious.

Kaye: What’s the best piece of advice you were ever given?

Molly: My mother, the wisest woman that I know, told me not to care about what other people think. If you live your life beholden to the opinions of others, you can never be the best version of yourself.

Kaye: Is there anything unique or unusual about your writing process?

Molly: I don’t really think that there’s anything unique to my writing process, other than I write my drafts while I watch television.

Kaye: Is there another book in store from Molly V. Lovell in the future?

Molly: Actually, yes, there will be. For the last several months, I’ve been working on a trilogy of books. I want to finish all three books before I submit them for publication. So far, I wrote 150,000 words and I’m almost done with the series. Then, I need to polish it up; that’s going to take a while. But, by this time next year, I’m hoping to have those three books out. The characters have pretty different personalities than the ones in A Sibling’s Dilemma and it’s written in first-person instead of third-person. The stories chronicle a hot-headed attorney and her rambunctious teenage intern, who happens to be the boss’s daughter. Together, through a very strange series of events, they take on the mob, a stalker, and a bunch of other things.

I want to thank Molly for joining us today on Writing to be Read and sharing a little about herself and her book. A Sibling’s Dilemma is available in ebook format or paperback on Amazon, so be sure to get your copy today.

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“Smothered”: An All Around Enjoyable Read

Smothered

Smothered by B.T. Clearwater is a paranormal romance that readers won’t want to put down. Paranormal and romance plot lines are skillfully woven together with well developed characters and just a dash of mystery, to create a well-rounded story that draws readers in and doesn’t let go. Smothered is currently offered in a limited print run, as well as in digital format.

Annie and Mark are two hot messes who belong together. They both have crazy exes, who they can’t rid themselves of; both have issue that need to be resolved; and both need someone they can lean on in the low times. They’re the perfect fit for one another, but between their exes and Annie’s manipulative dead mother, they may not be able to see the rightness of their relationship. They must find a way to overcome the obstacles before them, or risk being forever “smothered”.

An engaging story, well-developed and likable characters, multi-dimensional plot lines – Smothered has everything a good story should have. I give it five quills.

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Kaye Lynne Booth does honest book reviews on Writing to be Read in exchange for ARCs at no charge. Have a book you’d like reviewed? Contact Kaye at kayebooth(at)yahoo(dot)com.